Disclaimer: KISS, Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley are actual persons. This is a work of FICTION, and is not meant to harm or demean. It is a fictional account of what things might have been like for a personal friend of Gene and a friend of Stan getting to know KISS in their formative years. Raina MacLaren, Karen Valentez, Trisha Malloy and Liz of Sweet Revenge are property of the author, Trynia Merin.

Gene frowned, and Raina shook her head with a sigh. For a moment, they exchanged awkward glances with Peter and his wife. Trish and Max came with Maurice from backstage, wondering where Karen was.

"Where's our lovely leading lady?" Maurice asked.

"She just left with her boyfriend," Liz said. "I think they had some personal business..."

"A lover's spat," Raina sighed. She moved to get off Gene's lap, but he held her down.

"Just stay right there sweetheart," he urged. "Let Stanley handle his own problems..."

"But you saw the way the two of them were arguing!" Raina protested. "Are you nuts?"

"Kid's got to work it out himself. All we can do is be there to pick up the pieces," Gene urged.

"His first girl?" Peter asked.

"Yeah," Gene nodded.

"Man, he's got it bad. Can't blame him though. If it was Lydia up there acting like that I'd be the same way," Peter said.

"Honey, care to rephrase that?" asked Lydia with a warning glance.

"I'm a man, and the last thing I want is for some guy to drool over my wife," Peter told her, gripping her hand protectively. "You know how it is, right?"

"Yeah, one guy looks at your woman and you clean his clock," Liz rolled her eyes. "How positively neantherthal!"

"Hey, she's MY woman," Peter said.

"Well what about the reverse?" Raina asked Peter. "Lydia, how do you handle it when the girls go gaga over Peter?"

"We have an understanding, don't we dear?" Lydia said. "I trust him, and he trusts me. But then again he's not shaking his ass..."

"We're going to have to do some pretty outrageous things in our band," Gene said. "I'm warning you now, Ma'am..."

"Lydia can handle it," Peter said. "Right honey?"

"Well, yeah," she nodded.

"Then I can look forward to you showing up at 42nd street then?" Gene asked.

"Not if I beat you there first," Peter laughed. He wrapped his arm around Lydia's shoulders, pulling her to lean against him. She cuddled up to him, and lay her head on his chest.

"Looks like you got your wife's vote of confidence," Gene said. "And that's half the battle, right?"

"More then half," Peter joked.

"How long have you been married?" Raina asked them, still sitting on Gene's lap. He continued to stroke his hand up her thigh, his arm around her waist securely holding her in place.

"A few years," Peter said. "Give or take..."

"How do you guys make a marriage between a photographer and a musician work?" Raina asked, then flushed. "Sorry to be so direct..."

"It's a challenge," Lydia admitted. "But it's us against the world. I take pictures of my husband here in his job sometimes, and I help promote him..."

"She's a survivor too," Peter said. "We've got each other. And that's a lot in this freaking world. More then most people have..."

"Would you possibly be interested in taking some pictures of us?" Gene asked Lydia, his business sense chiming in. "I mean... just for some fliers... when we get going..."

"Ever the promoter," Raina teased him, slugging Gene on the arm.

"Hey, it's an honest question, sweets," Gene protested softly. "I need to investigate every possible resource..."

"Even when we're in the middle of a hep club, with great music and good company?" Raina scolded him.

"It's business still, sweets," Gene teased back. "You can't fault me for that?"

"No, and that's my main mistake," she laughed.

"And you still love me anyway," Gene whispered seductively in her ear. She shivered with desire, kissing his cheek.

"You guys wanna be alone?" Peter asked.

"Don't mind me," Gene said. "If you had a hot sexy number on your lap... like that lovely wife of yours you'd be excited too?"

"Watch how you answer that," L Lydia teased.

"I would," Peter said. "So is this Spanish inquisition over, or what?"

"You're free and clear to go," Gene waved with a grin. "Unless you want to stick around with us..."

"Actually I was gonna hang for the next few bands," Peter said. "Sound okay, Hon?"

"Fine to me," Lydia nodded.

"Are you done backstage?" Gene asked me.

"Oh man, I need to check," Raina groaned.

"Don't worry about it," Liz raised her hand, suddenly returning with Peter's brother. "We took care of it..."

"I'm sorry..." Raina apologized.

"Hey, don't worry," Liz said. "You just have a good time. We'll see you tomorrow okay?"

" You hear that?" Gene laughed. "You're all MINE now..."

"Sounds tempting..."

"Mmm, you know it. I'll just hit the office and we can see about painting this town red, sweets," Gene whispered to her. "Okay?"

"Sure," Raina nodded, getting up. "I'll just say goodbye to Maurice and all... and meet you back here..."

"Later Peter," Gene said. "See you at 42nd street. And lovely meeting you, Lydia," he said, kissing her hand.

"I have to find Maurice," Raina said. "And let him know Karen's gone for the night. You guys okay here?"

"Fine," Lydia nodded.

"Can I send my stuff home with you?" Raina asked Liz.

"Sure. You and Gene have fun," Liz winked. Raina got up and wandered off, figuring she could use the ladies room and wait for Gene outside before he came back.

On her way out of the ladies room, Raina glanced around for Gene. Seeing no sign of him, Raina wandered back toward the table occupied by Liz, Lydia and the Crisscuola brothers. Suddenly Raina was surrounded with chatting people, shoving notebooks and fliers into her hand, chattering her name and various other phrases like "Sign this..." or "...you ROCKED!" or "...you KICKED ASS girly!"

Flustered and flattered, Raina tried to sign as many of the flat surfaces as she could. It seemed they all wanted a piece of her at once, even grabbing at her clothes, whooping and hooting as they slugged her on the back or pinched her ass.

"What are you doing here..." came a voice that made her blood run cold when she recognized it. "How DARE you suddenly disappear then show up HERE of all places!"

"Excuse me?" she asked as someone held out a tape for her to sign.

"If you are who you seem to be... you have a lot of explaining to do..." came a cold voice. Raina backed away.

"Who are you?" Raina pretended to hide behind her glasses, although she knew it was a flimsy disguise.

"How could you not know me..." he glared at her, grabbing her arm tightly. "What the HELL did you think you could get away with by just leaving! I was worried SICK! How DARE YOU!"

"Leave me alone!" she cried. "LET ME GO!"

"Let the dame go!" one of the other guys in the crowd shouted, shoving into him.

"Shut up. She's with me," he hissed.

"The HELL YOU ARE!" Raina cried.

"Parading on stage like a slut! Of course YOU would! What's wrong, looking for your next lay you cheap two bit whore?"

"Shaddup!" someone else cried, shoving past him to thrust a tape into her hands. Raina signed it quickly, trying hard to get away from the man who haunted her dreams.

"But it's not too late..." he said, gripping her arm tightly and holding fast. "I am willing to forgive you, if you come with me NOW!"

"Get away from me..." Raina spat in his face, panic pounding her heart.

"Leave the lady alone, NOW!" Maurice suddenly broke in, shouldering between them and shoving the man back.

"Get me out of here!" Raina wailed, shivering.

"You'd BETTER come back, if you know what's good for you! You can't HIDE from me! I WILL get you BACK!" Mark's voice shouted through the crowd as Maurice pulled her away.

"What was up with that nutcase?" Maurice asked her. Raina shivered and convulsed, sick to her stomach.

"I... don't know..." Raina shook her head, not wanting to tell Maurice the dirty details of her past. He had never seen her ex, and he didn't know much about him, other then what the other girls had told him. He walked her back toward the dressing room area.

"Gotta watch it Ray," Maurice said. "You should have let me know you were leaving... same thing happened to Trish when she tried to leave. That's why Max is taking her out the back..."

"Where's Gene?" Raina demanded. "I want GENE!"

"Wait here and I'll send him to get you guys outta here..." Maurice offered, sitting her down on a sofa in the spacious dressing room. Other bands ready to go on were stationed here, having drinks before they were hustled onstage.

"Oh god don't leave me alone!" she cried.

"Hold on, it's okay. Those fans won't get here..." he said.

Raina shivered when she saw the other guys sitting there, in leather and denim. "Hey what's wrong girly?" one asked her.

"Someone... a fan, oh my god he threatened me," she shivered.

"Don't worry. If anyone tries any shit, we'll kick his ass, personally," the other said, settling next to her.

"Pretty lady like you shouldn't run in fear," the third said, shaking his long blond hair.

Raina wrapped her jacket around her and shivered.

"You kicked ass," the first said, taking her hand and kissing it. "One hell of a rock siren..."

"Don't let some shithead stop you," another added.

"GUYS, you're on in FIVE!" someone shouted. One by one they kissed her cheek or her hand, and exited, leaving her alone. The door slammed shut, and Raina hugged her knees, drawing her legs up onto the sofa.

For the first time in weeks Raina felt hot tears burning her eyes. Raina pulled off her glasses and sobbed bitterly. Sinking down on the sofa Raina curled up in a fetal position and felt the cold seep into her being. Rude reality swirled around her, and the world was no longer safe.

The door clicked open, and Raina cried out in fear. "Ray, it's okay, I found him..." came Maurice's voice.

"Sweets, did you see those guys? I didn't know the Ramones were playing here," Gene shook his head as he rushed to her side. "Wait... what the HELL happened?"

He whirled on Maurice and grabbed his shirt front, yelling, "Why is she freaking! What the HELL happened?"

"Some fan freaked her out... tried to assault her..."

"Don't you have fucking SECURITY?" Gene demanded, rushing to her side. He sat by her, rubbing his hand across her back. Raina began to sob, hugging his lap as he hugged her.

"Yes... but we can't watch every fan..."

"THEN LEARN GODDAMN IT!" Gene exploded. "What the fuck kind of manager are you anyway?"

"Gene, leave him alone," Raina cried. "It's not his fault... it's mine..."

"Sweets, what happened... you can tell me..."

"Can we just get out of here, please?" Raina begged. "Please... I can't be here a second longer..."

"Can you do something RIGHT and get us a cab?" Gene snorted at Maurice. "I'm taking her home..."

"Sure..." Maurice said, a bit nervous at Gene. He rushed off to make a phone call.

During the Blitzkrieg Bop Gene hustled her out of the club, to a back alley. He held tightly to her, not letting go for one second as Raina clung so firmly to his hand she must be hurting him.

"I'm here baby, nobody's going to hurt you," he shushed her, holding her close and rocking her against him. "Shh... easy..."

"Oh God," she cried, gripping the front of Gene's shirt and burying her head in it.

"You're shivering... shit," he got out, momentarily letting go. Tugging off his leather coat, he draped it around her. she still felt incredibly numb, even with Gene's coat wrapped around her shivering body, his arms holding her close to him.

"Almost there," the cab driver said.

"Here, this should cover it. Let us off at the corner," Gene instructed, reaching for his wallet. Extracting two dollars, he gave it to the cabbie through the window, and wrapped his arm around her. A sluice of rain slammed into them both, and Gene tugged her along beside him. they boosted the coat over both their heads and ran for it.

***

"Now mind telling me WHAT you saw?" Gene asked, closing and locking the door behind them.

"Not now... I'm so cold," she shivered.

"C'mere... let's get those wet clothes off you..." he urged, pulling off her jacket. He began to tug at her clothes in an effort to get them off her. She stood still, letting him undress her. Automatically he unbuttoned his shirt and shed it, urging her toward the bathroom.

"I'll just hang these up and get us something dry..." he said. She wrapped herself in a towel, hiding her body from him.

"Why don't you go sit on the couch, sweetheart. I'll just be a minute or two," he whispered, kissing her ear and hugging her close. Raina sniffed and let him go, wandering out past him as he hung up their sopping wet clothes on the shower rack. Still numb Raina flopped down on the sofa, after flipping on the television. Her mind had detached from her body, as if it were sitting on her left shoulder.

Raina shrieked at the touch of a hand on her shoulder, and whirled around to see Gene sitting next to her in his bathrobe. He held a finger to his lips, hand over her mouth to silence her. Concern filled the amber eyes, and Raina felt horrible for putting him through such worry.

"C'mere..." he said, patting his knee. Raina felt hot tears burn, and Gene took her legs and pulled them across his lap. He tugged her up till she sat there, almost like a little child on their parent's knee.

"You're being so damn nice," Raina sniffed, as he passed her a tissue.

"It's my job. Now care to tell ol' Geno here just what got you so freaked? Before I have to take more drastic measures?"

"I saw him..." Raina got out.

"Him who?" Gene asked.

"I saw Mark..." Raina stammered.

Gene froze, a look of anger twisting his face momentarily. Something akin to a low growl escaped his throat, and he pulled her closer in his arms. Those light brown eyes fixed directly into hers, asking softly, "How can you be sure?"

"You're DOUBTING ME?" Raina asked, leaping off his lap. "I can't believe it!"

"Now wait sweetheart... just bear with me!" Gene said, grabbing her hand. "Are you SURE it was him?"

"He f***ing THREATENED Me! He recognized me Gene... oh god he said he'd find me..."

"Wait, START from the beginning..." Gene said, leaping up next to her and taking her shoulder. "Tell me EVERYHING that happened. And I mean EVERYTHING."

***

"There I was signing the band tapes," Raina shivered. Hot water hit her full blast in the face, and Raina felt Gene's hands soaping up her back.

"And..." Gene asked.

"Then I heard him as large as life. I could swear I was going mad..." Raina recounted, her jaw shivering. Every detail, even though it was but a few minutes she described came rushing back horrifyingly clear, as Gene rubbed his fingers over her scalp to wash her hair. The sweat and stink of performance spiraled down the drain with her tears. Raina was so scared she couldn't even bear to be alone.

Fortunately, Gene said it suited him fine. He loved any excuse to see her naked, especially in full view of his hungry eyes. Gene ran his fingers strongly through her hair to comfort her. Periodically, he leaned down to kiss her cheek. Hot tears again sprang to life, and she loathed their presence.

"This helping any?" he whispered in her ear as he hugged her. Although she knew he was trying to help comfort her, suspicion arose in her that all he wanted was sex now. Why was that so bad, she wondered? As the old memories were triggered by Mark's presence, the old emotions accompanied them, bubbling to the surface with a vengeance. Raina pulled away from the hug, whimpering.

"Ray.... Hey.... What was THAT all about? I'm not going to hurt you" he said, looked down at her with widened eyes.

"I'm sorry I feel horrible," she sobbed. "I just don't know what's wrong with me."

"Whatever happened between you and this idiot tonight...I won't let it happen again. I can promise you that," Gene assured her, voice filled with mingled anger and concern. "Because next time, I'm going to be there and I'll shove my fist in his face."

"I know... I just... thought I was safe... and then..." she stammered.

He extended a hand to touch her again, then stopped himself.

"Honey, you ARE safe. You are. It's just that.... I don't know. Somehow he's back, but not for long." Gene said, helplessly.

"I wish I knew to god WHY he was there... in the first place!" Raina shook her head.

"Because he's a sick bastard and for whatever reason, he's attached himself to you. Probably because you're everything, he's not.... Beautiful, smart, brilliant career, someone that's deeply in love with you. He's WHAT? A f**cking psycho!" Gene shook his head. He closed his eyes for a moment as he regretted using the word "psycho".

"I know that Gene... damnit I know that..." she shivered. "Why would he even want me if he thinks I'm a whore?"

"Sweetheart" he started again, rubbing soap over his body to wash his own sweats away. "More than likely, you'll never see him again. We all know he's around now and we're going to be looking out for you.

"I know... but what if..." she began, then trailed off, hugging herself in the shower.

"It's some kind of sick thing, I guess. He looks at you as his possession. Part of the whole emotional abuse thing is to make your victims feel small. Trust me. I came over from another country. I LIVED emotional abuse. You have any idea what it's like being the nerdy new kid who can't speak English?"

"No..." she whispered, turning away to rinse her hair under the shower. "I guess I feel guilty... Why should I have problems when I did everything right, and tried to please everyone..."

"Every kid in the damn neighborhood was gunning for me, until they found out that I wouldn't let them," Gene recounted, dredging up unpleasant memories.

"Nothing I ever did was good enough for them..." Raina closed her eyes.

"But it wasn't like I wasn't loved or cared for Gene..."

"Ray, look at me," he said, talking her shoulder and urging her to turn around. "The problem isn't you. It's him. Once he's over this, he'll probably move on to some other poor sucker."

"I guess he didn't really care for me after all, except for his own selfish ends," She looked up at him, still unable to look him in the eyes.

"NO, Ray. He did NOT care for you, because if he did, he would not treat you like this. He would not call you a whore. He would not blacken your eye. He would not ruin your night after a damn near perfect concert."

"Yes... I know... wait... you thought it was perfect?" she asked, flattered by his compliment. It shortly shattered her numbness.

"He'd be sitting in the god-damn front row cheering you on...like I was."

"Yes, you were..." she laughed slowly.

"Hell, yeah, I did and so did everyone else at my table...save Stanley of course, and he was too busy crying over Karen's exposed titties," he smiled, stroking her cheek. Thankfully, she did not flinch from his touch here.

"I know... I feel badly for them..." she sighed. "I hope they work it out..."

At this point, he put his hands on her shoulders lightly, and said,

"They either will, or they won't. She'll get over him. He'll get over her. It's life. And if I'm wrong and they make a go of it...I wish 'em all the best."

"Gene, explain to me how a girl can think she has everything right, and then suddenly have to turn her back on everything she's ever known..."

"Love, what are you turning your back on?" Gene asked.

"Well Gene... it's like I feel like I'm deserting my family in some weird way..."

"Oh! This same family that basically deserted YOU?" he said, with mild sarcasm.

"I know... it's weird, isn't it. I was this perfect little protestant girl who looked like she had it all...and I had NOTHING."

"That condition broke us up. That condition pushed you into the arms of an animal, just to please them. Forgive me, Ray. I just don't see a lot of redeeming qualities in mommy and daddy McLaren."

"I know Gene... but I used Mark as an excuse to run away," she explained. "And I ended up running into more trouble..."

"There's plenty of kids running around who appear to have it all, but really have nothing. It just doesn't get talked about," Gene sniffed.

"You know what? You didn't have to pick a guy just to please them. Or run to a guy to get away with what they did to you."

"True. I just know I didn't have anything that really mattered... till I met you..."

"And to me," Gene murmured, stroking her cheek tenderly. "And let me guess.... What exactly would your father have to say about me if he knew where you were right now?"

"You've always been so nice to me, with no expectations..." she whispered.

"Stupid Jewish bastard...right?" he snorted.

"Yes. But he can SCREW himself," she snapped. "Why is it they can't understand that the best thing that happened to me was you?" she asked, tears in her eyes.

"YES, Ray. F**CK HIM. You need to let yourself let them go. If they finally wise up and let you be yourself, then OK, have a go at it, but in the meantime, don't let them mess with you up here," he said, pushing wet strands of hair out of her eyes.

"I can't risk ruining what I have... or risking your safety as well, because of a guilty conscience," Raina said solemnly. "If I were to reveal where I was to them, they'd only end up telling Mark, and then everything we fought so hard for would be ruined."

"They wanted you to be a damn school teacher, married to a damn school teacher, in a nice little neighborhood with a couple of kids, named after them, of course."

"Yes..." she sighed. "Alice and Tom..."

"And when you didn't give them what they wanted, well, that just wasn't acceptable, was it?"

"No. So I told them I wasn't playing by their rules anymore," she nodded. "Especially since Dad was responsible partly for getting you fired."

"Don't worry about me and safety. I've been through enough shit in my life that I'm not worried about some kind of sicko. Don't forget.... I'm 6'4" and not exactly a bean pole."

"I can't imagine you ever having to punch anyone. Hell you'd SCAER them to death first," she chuckled.

"I'd do whatever it takes to keep you safe. I promise you that."

"I always wondered why..." she whispered softly, stroking his chest lightly. "What you saw in that schoolteacher in that store so long ago..."

"Same thing I see right now. A wonderful, beautiful, creative woman who doesn't like crap get her down."

She chuckled lightly, "You hardly even knew me... but you said that night when we made love... that you had been watching me before we even met... How could you have seen me, since we worked in 2 different schools?"

"I knew of you, and you intrigued me.... Feel special?" he smiled.

"And I knew the day I met you that you and me were.... I don't know...somehow supposed to be together."

"Very..." she sighed, handing him the soap, and turning her back so he could scrub her down. "Did Gloria tell you about me? You remember her, Gloria Steinmetz, my mentor?"

He smiled sheepishly and looked down at their feet. Hers were so small and petite in comparison to his, and he marveled in their differences and similarities as he chuckled, "Maybe."

"Aww damn Gene," she groaned, shaking her head. "Funny how you can be both a horn dog and a softie in one person... it still blows me away... One minute you're drooling over my best friend... the next, you're trying to comfort me..."

"I just hate to see this guy win, that's all. You guys are on the brink of something big. It's not like you can go run in a hole NOW. Not after everything."

"I know... but what about the fact he recognized me... despite my attempts to hide myself?" she asked, fingering his chin. He rested his hand over hers on his face, turning his lips to kiss her palm delicately. "I just... wonder if I'm cut out to be this musician, or if I'm running away again? From my problem. Him."

"Only you can answer that. Do you want it or not, because if you don't, step aside and let someone in who DOES," he said with resolve.

"I want it Gene. I want so badly to make it... at least PROVE I can..." Raina gritted, finally looking him directly in the eyes. "When I was up there, I felt at HOME. I loved everyone screaming for us, and those people admiring me... it felt GOOD."

"Then, that answers your question. Don't forget. This situation is temporary. Twenty years from now, he'll be history, but the fans will still remember you. Just think for a long time before you give up your dreams for this idiot."

"What if Sweet Revenge is some freaking one hit wonder... what if I find I HATE it and five years later I'm in drug rehab?" she asked, momentarily still filled with doubt.

He chuckled, "YOU into drugs? Nah can't see it. Not with me in the apartment with you."

"Not that I want to Gene... I just see Trish... and it makes me sad..." she sighed. "She snorts coke Gene... I've seen it... and I'm' scared... Liz does pot and LSD sometimes... And the fans gave them free drugs after the show..."

"Ray, that still doesn't mean you have to try any of it."

"Hell they even tried to give me some... I told them my boyfriend would kick their asses if I tried it..."

"Haven't you come too far to screw it up like that?" Gene asked.

"I don't want to mess up myself..." Raina nodded. "And I won't let KAREN do it either... Even if I have to ditch Liz and Trish... if they drugs get in the way."

"Karen's got the Kid to kick her in the ass if she tries a damn thing. Trust me. Stanley may appear to be a bit naive, but he's got a good head for business. He's just...young...that's all."

"So is she... I'm so afraid she'll get the urge to try that stuff. Or get bamboozled or get her heart broken..." her voice trailed off.

"Just hope they're being careful, that's all" he muttered as he held out his arms to her. She buried her face against his chest and held him tightly to her. Without the heels, she only came to his mid chest.

"And I hope you're careful too, but not TOO careful that you let this freak inside your head," he murmured into her ear, kissing it lightly.

"How do I stop him from getting to me, Gene?" she asked. "It's like I'm suddenly back there all over again... the work of six months coming undone in minutes!"

"You just have to be careful, I suppose. When you're in the club, just make sure the girls know where you are.... Or the bouncers.... Or me. And don't be afraid to scream your damn head off if you see him again," he said. "Screaming GENNNEEEE would work just fine."

"Yes... I know... but what about when you guys start performing... and you're not there?" she asked. He sighed somewhat in frustration.

"I...umm...just...shit, Ray...."

"I guess we'll have to spring for security," she said. "And a real road crew then. Shit we make enough now to get some people... heeyyyy...."

"I've got money, sweetheart. I have no problem helping you out in that regard."

"What if Peter's... friends volunteered to help watch out for me?"

"I think that's a GREAT idea," he nodded, giving her a reassuring squeeze. "And it's probably just for a little while. He's going to get tired of this, I know."

"I hope to hell he does... Gene..." Raina hoped. "I'm just glad that..."

"Besides, it only takes one wrong move and if I see him, I flatten him," Gene growled.

"You took me in that night at the club and didn't turn me out... for... um... seeing someone else..."

"Ray, I've told you before. I don't have a problem with playing around. I'm not exactly your monogamous sort. Not really into being caged, if you know what I mean."

"I know... it's just... that after one rehearsal... Maurice and I well... we uh... fooled around... I felt guilty about it..." she confessed, turning away. "But it felt... good... like I was in control... like a guy didn't control me..."

He turned her around, and said, "Don't feel guilty about it on my account. Really, Ray. DON'T"

"Thank you," she said, looking up at him. "He's a good guy..."

"Because I can't make you any promises. Not that kind anyway. And I don't expect any in return."

"I know... so that's why I haven't been afraid to... when the time sometimes has presented itself..." she added. "But they always have to wear condoms. Not like it's been a lot of times."

"Good for you," Gene congratulated her. "But it's been some, and from the looks of you up on that stage tonight, it will be many more before you are through."

"There was one guy, after a show where you weren't there... he said he thought I was the sexiest woman... And that he admired women who had some flesh on their bones..."

"He's right" Gene agreed, as he reached down and kissed her neck again.

"And he asked if I could take him back for a private encore," she sighed. "He was good... but he didn't compare... to someone else I know."

"See, you are a risqué little devil, aren't you?" he chuckled as he rubbed her shoulders.

"Yes... you corrupted me well," she laughed.

"Just doing' my job, ma'am.'

"By the way, what was Stan drawing on that napkin?" she asked, to change the subject a bit. "It looked like some guy with a few stars on his face.... Next to a guy with too much makeup..."

"He and I have been messing around a bit with some concepts for the band...how we're going to shock everyone."

"Oh."

"And make lots of money." Gene added. "And have lots of girls."

"Well... did we shock you guys? Or did we sound just like any other band you've seen?"

He laughed louder, "OH, you shocked Stan alright. Boy would have had a damn hard-on if it weren't for the fact that his little virgin girl was up there."

"Because if that's the case, then I'll have lots of men, waiting on me hand and foot," she says, sticking her tongue out at him. "So NYAH!"

"Hmmm. You mean like THIS hand?" he said as he took her hand and licked her finger lightly.

"Oh...." she murmured.

"Karen's going to go far, assuming she doesn't hook up with someone who derails her. If she stays on track, she's unstoppable," Gene whispered. "She needs you, you know."

"Even though she said she's dropping out of school," Raina sighed. "Even though I begged her not to... I said I'd tutor her so she could get her GED."

He sighed at these words, "I just hope her and Stanley don't do something stupid. They are both young and wide-eyed.... Crap.... All they need is a baby."

"Gene, I hope they don't... I... damn I offered to get her birth control pills..."

"Some frickin' love child to come to our concerts and wail in the front row" he sneered. "Moonbeam or Rainbow or something."

"Damn I'll get them for myself and give them to her... I do have insurance as a part time teacher."

"That's a thought. Hell, Stanley makes some cash driving that damn cab. Not much, but enough to step up to the plate and take precautions with Karen. Maybe you ought to talk with her, love. Every time I try to bring it up, he tells me to f**ck off. Besides, it's not really a guy conversation."

"I will, Gene," she agreed. "I mean it's not that hard. I always respected the fact when you first had sex with me, you automatically used a condom."

"But then again, I WAS asking him if he had a piece of that, at the time he told me to f**ck off," he smiled.

"Well Gene... this is between us ok?"

"Yeah, absolutely. What's on your mind, doll?"

She whispered in his ear, "She did him the night you broke up WL... In Tony Zarella's bed."

He laughed hard, throwing his head back, "I figured he did her. He admitted as much. I had no clue it was in the loft though.... Not to MENTION in Tony's bed. GODDDD, that's hysterical."

"And also too... he had raincoats left over... He forgot to unmake his bed and take his secret stash..." Raina laughed, holding her wet sides.

"So they were good, at least once," Gene asked.

"Yes. And for your information, I INSIST on condoms backstage. I always send Maurice out to get a box before a show... just in case."

"Good for you, sweets," Gene squeezed her hand tightly. "I just.... hate to say it, because I really do like Pretty Boy, but can't you just see him falling in 'love' and conveniently forgetting to cover up? Big doe eyed blonde, saying, "Honey, what if we don't for the night?"

"I'll make sure that doesn't happen, as much as I can," she sighed.

"His parents would FREAKKKK!" Gene added.

"Gene... thanks for not... um... putting the pressure on..." she whispered. "I hate myself... for standing here, being scared...when you'd never hurt me..."

"You know I wouldn't. Not ever. It's your choice to stay or to go. I'd never hold your decision against you. I told you that when you moved in. I could promise you a nice warm place to stay and companionship, for as long as you want," Gene reminded her. He reached over and hugged her softly again.

"Gene... I... don't want... to leave anytime soon."

"Well, Hon, I don't want you too either," he whispered.

"Thank you," she whispered in return, holding him close. She sensed his hot skin slick against hers, and felt something pressing into her stomach.

"I love you after all.... In my own weird little way."

"Strange... I actually told YOU that I loved you... first..." she giggled.

"And that's the way it should be. You're the lady, after all."

"Mmm," she laughed, kissing his chest, and trying to keep from shaking with fear. He sensed that she was worried and hugged her tightly.

"You want to get out and go get a snack?" he asked. "I mean you did play your pretty little ass off up there, and watching you shake it around gave me an appetite for more then just you and me..."

"Yes..." she nodded. "Before we use up the hot water."

"Corner deli's got some killer pastrami sandwiches."

"Hmm sounds good," she sighs.

"Open this time of night too..."

He smiled at her, as he attempted to think of anything but sex to lose his erection. She sighed and continued to hug him tightly, not wanting to let go.

"I know the guy that works there. He'll fix you right up.... Anything you want," Gene said, turning off the shower. "F***cking Stanley used to work there too. We can get some funny stories to use against him too."

"This just isn't fair to you," she sighed, as she pulled aside the shower curtain. "I know you want me, and I want you... And I'm coming on like a freaking refrigerator..."

"Ray, you're allowed, OK? That's sort of the point of this whole conversation. Sure I want to throw you down and ravish you, but if it's not right for you, then screw it. On to pastrami and rye," Gene said, catching her arm. Her stomach growled. "And those barbecue potato chips you love so much."

"Oh god don't get me started," she laughed, throwing him a towel. He threw it over his head and began to dry his hair. He turned to her and grins widely.

"We ought to call for Stan's cab to take us there. Think he'd like THAT?"

"No. Let them be alone..." she said.

"I was JUST kidding," he said, half innocently and half-smirking.

"You'd better be," she warned him, tying her robe around her.

"That is, if I can WALK over there. I might have.... uh.... issues." he said as he looked down. Then he looked up and cracks a towel at her.

"Hmm," she laughed, and jumped.

"I know..." she whispered, and turned around to embrace him, towel and all. Burying her sorrow she leaned up and wrapped her arms around Gene's neck, catching his lips in a hard kiss. Almost trying to drown her sorrow in it.

He hugged her tightly, burying his lips on her neck, whispering, "What do you want to do, kiddo? Pastrami, or is there something I can do for you?"

"I don't know," she said in a soft whisper. "I feel so... confused..."

"How about we step out and get a bite. Give you a chance to clear your head. Night air's cleansing, I think," he said as he regarded her with sweet eyes.

"All right," she nodded.

"Unless, of course, you'll see ghosts at every corner."

"I don't know gene...but I think if you're with me I can manage."

"I think you can too. As a matter of fact, I KNOW you can," he urged.

"Let's do it..." she said.

***

A set of freshly laundered dry clothes later, and they were ready to go out for a nighttime snack. Gone completely were the trappings of the biker chick MacIntyre, replaced with more modest bell bottomed jeans, platform clogs, and a comfortable button up shirt.

Gene walked toward the door and grabbed his jacket. He handed it to her, saying 'Here, I know you love this one. It's yours for the night."

"Thank you," she whispered, stroking the soft brown leather. He carefully put it around her shoulders. The large lapels were typical of the day, and it hung around her ankles. Reaching into the pockets, she was amused to find candy.

Gene selected his short black leather jacket, which zipped up in the front. Seeing her fingering the candy, he joked, "Ahhhhh, my secret stash! Hands OFF!"

"C'mon and let's get some food," she said.

"Well, OK, maybe one" he pouted.

"No pouting," she says, kissing his lips lightly as they walked downstairs.

"Hmm, yes, apparently that's Stan's job tonight. You know, if he could bottle that pout, he'd have women falling all over him, biting his ankles."

"Hmm... Use it onstage maybe?" she asked.

"Possibly. Think Karen would mind running around nude at every gig to inspire it?" he teased.

"Hmm what if he ran around baring that chest of his?" she asked, rubbing Gene's chest through his shirt as they reached the first landing, and Gene opened the glass door for her.

"Now, WAIT a minute. You're not supposed to notice that." He protested, rushing after her, with a fake jealous look.

"Umm... Well it looks GOOD through that T shirt..." she laughed. "Especially the tight white one..."

"Mine or Stan's? Throw me a bone here, Hon," he winked, moving alongside her. Still the city lights flickered no matter what the hour in NYC, even in Gene's neighborhood.

"Well there's more of you to go around, in a good way," she said, wrapping her arm around his hips and rubbing his butt through his jeans playfully. "And you HAVE been toning up a bit..."

"Glad you noticed, love. I try SOOO hard," he said, grinning, slipping her hand into his back pocket. ".... As you can tell from the candy in my pocket."

"Well I haven't kept the weight off..." she laughed. Gene gave her hip a playful squeeze and urged her along.

"So where is this place?" she asked, biting into the Kraft caramel.

"Just over there. We're almost to it." He nodded. Taking her hand, he led her to the deli. Just then, a car passed by, and she squeezed his hand firmly.

"Sorry..."

"Ray, you're fine, really. Physically. Mentally."

"I know," she nodded, and glanced up at him. "I'm with you, right?"

"You got it," Gene laughed, and opened the door for her. With a jingle, it opened into the small place. Rows of magazines and cigarettes arrayed around them, as they passed through the corridor of glass soda cases, and groceries. In the far end of the narrow deli was the deli case, complete with scale and baked goods to one side.

Behind the counter, a middle aged man, slightly shorter then Gene, but dark haired worked. Seeing Gene he waved to him, and spoke a greeting in a language she didn't understand. Raina held Gene's hand and looked shy as Gene smiled and answered him in the same language.

"What will it be, sweetheart" he whispered as he waves to the man behind the counter.

"Pastrami on rye..." she mused. "Lettuce, Mayo and tomato..."

"To drink?" Gene asked.

"Tab?" she suggested. "Regular soda just doesn't cut it."

"Perfect," Gene nodded. "Wait here."

She watched him walk up to the counter, and begin a conversation with the storeowner. Not German, French or even Yiddish, but another language, Slavic sounding. She recalled Gene saying he was part Hungarian and it dawned on her this must be Hungarian they were speaking. With shame, she realized the only foreign language she had learned was Latin, of little use here. Except for the Gaelic she had learned from her grandmother MacLaren, English and Latin were the only two languages she knew.

Loudly Gene and the man exchanged pleasantries. They laughed together for a bit. She joined in, and put a hand to her head, shaking it. When the Hungarian man gestured to Raina, they both laughed. She saw Gene smile and shake his head vigorously as he pointed to Ray. She wondered WHAT the heck he said just then. Then she saw Gene glance at the board as he places their order in Hungarian. Immediately the man disappeared behind the counter, reaching to slice the pastrami, and arrange it neatly on freshly sliced rye bread. Gene grabbed a bag of potato chips and two cans of soda from the drink case to his left.

It blew her mind to think of his ease with both languages. Especially since she never would have guessed, he was an immigrant from his ease with English. Cuddled up in his jacket, she inhaled the traces of his cologne on the soft leather. Again the man smiled and nodded toward Raina. She had a question in her eyes, wondering WHAT they are talking about, but guessing.

Finally Gene nodded and accepted the white bag from his friend. Nodding he spoke what must have been the Hungarian word for Thank you. Striding up, Raina put her hand in Gene's and said, "Thank you," to the man in clear English.

He held up his hand, and came around the counter to join them. Hugging Gene warmly, he patted him on the back, and Gene smiled back with a laugh. She smiled and saw a side of him that she hadn't before: the immigrant kid.

Gene pointed to her and said, "Raina!"

"Raina!" the man repeated and held out his arms to her. He folded her in a warm friendly hug.

"Raina," she laughed, and accepted the hug with a lump in her throat, patting the man's back. "Raina MacIntyre."

The man attempted to say MacIntyre, but botched it. So she sounded it out for him. He then said something in Hungarian to Gene and they both chuckled.

"It's Scottish," she blushed.

"Raina... she's PRETTY," he says in a thick accent, as he pounded Gene on the back.

"Thank you, Mister... excuse me what is your name? I don't believe Gene introduced us," she said.

"This is Lavislos, Raina." Gene introduced them. "He's been here for years."

"La... vis... los..." she sounded out, botching it. "Rats, I only took LATIN in college... Didn't do me much good in the real world."

"Is okay," Lavislos smiled, shaking her hand. "Is good!"

After a few more words in Hungarian, Gene smiled and slipped his hand in hers, handing her the sodas to carry while he took the bag. Gene waved, heading out the door with Raina. She turned to smile and blow a kiss to Lavislos before they let the door bang shut behind them.

Through the window, she saw him blow a kiss in return, a smile on his face. Gene ripped open the bag of potato chips and snagged one. She grabbed one for herself and savored the tangy barbecue sauce.

"He's really nice," she said, as they walked along. Hand safely in Gene's she had forgotten how late it actually was.

"Yeah, he's a nut. Funny thing is, he DOES speak American. Crappy, but he speaks it."

"I wish I learned a practical language Gene," she regretted. "Hell I could have learned SPANISH or German... but I took LATIN."

"He just likes it when I come in and we speak Hungarian. He misses it over there. He LOVES my mom, as you can guess."

"You see her a lot, don't' you?" Raina asked.

"Mom's great. I don't know what I'd do without her."

"She must have been something, because you're just so... so..." she fumbled for the right word. "Perfectly nice to women... to me..."

He looks at her and grinned mischievously as he confessed, "He said you have nice breasts. He was impressed."

"Awww, shux," she laughed, blushing. "I guess Hungarian women aren't your typical twiggy types huh?"

"No little boobs like the last girl" he smiled. "His exact words."

Raina burst out laughing, and slugged Gene on the arm. He grinned, "See, there IS an advantage to a foreign language. I can talk about you all night and you'll never know."

"For all our pride in Scottish heritage, my parents know NO Gaelic..." she sighed. "I mean we were oppressed by the British for centuries, and lived like second class citizens. In many ways, we were like the immigrants here in the US... and when we first came over, we were in the same boat. Sad how they forgot that part of our family history."

"That's a shame. It really is."

"My parents knew NOTHING about what it was really like to be Scottish... where it mattered." She sighed. "Just wearing a kilt on Robbie Burns birthday and eating haggis and drinking whisky.... That's it."

"It's not too late to try to learn if you still want to. There are plenty of places you'll be going. I just know it."

"I would love to learn Spanish," she said. "Considering most people in NYC speak it."

"When you make it big, you'll tour all over the world"

"I would love to go everywhere..."

Gene nodded and then laughed again, "The Kid HATES that guy. He told him once he dressed like a girl."

"Oh good lord," she laughed.

"Look at those long curls.... he was into it. It was hysterical,' Gene laughed. "Say, want to eat a picnic in this park?"

"In the dark?" she shivered. Gene led her over under a streetlight, where there was a small playground near the apartment houses. Monkey bars bordered the square of blacktop with basketball nets.

Wiping off a park bench on the edge of the basketball court, he indicated she should sit down. He settled comfortably next to her, and put the sandwich bag to his side. She plunked down the bag with the drinks, and handed his Fresca to him.

"Gene..." she asked. "What would your parents have said about you with a Protestant, Scottish-American girl like me?"

"My mom would have...will...love you. I promise. My mom's lived through hell and back in her life. She's not looking to judge anyone," Gene said, and then pulled out a wrapped sandwich and handed half to her. He unfolded his, and took a big bite of pastrami.

"True. She sounds wonderful," Raina sighed.

"My dad, well, he didn't stick around long enough to know, I'm afraid. You or me."

"His loss."

"Yeah, it is. I'll never understand it as long as I live," he said through a mouthful of sandwiches. "My mom, she lost almost everyone she loved in the concentration camps. I can't even imagine..."

"Oh god..." Raina sighed, going sober at the revelation. "That must be terrible... if she didn't make it... you... and I would have never met... All those people..."

Her hand gripped his tightly and squeezed it. Gene squeezed back, and set down his sandwich to pick up his drink. He swallowed away the sandwich, and sighed, "Tell me about it. I just can't imagine being that powerless, but damn, what are you going to do?"

For a few minutes they continued to eat in silence, simply reflecting in the sadness. A quickening wind blew some trash across the lot, and Raina leaned back for a moment to close her eyes. She could almost imagine it was the middle of the day, and they were simply having lunch as they had come to do back when they had fist met. This was how it started, deli sandwiches and conversation.

"I can't believe I'm here in the middle of NYC eating a sandwich at 1 am," she joked.

"Have a slice of heaven," he offered, as he handed her the other half of her sandwich. She sighed and bites into it.

"But don't think you're getting this pickle" he teased.

"Screw you, I'm getting the CHIPS!" she warned, grabbing the bag away from him. He yanked it back, grabbing a handful and stuffing them into his mouth with a laugh. They playfully wrestled for the chips till they almost spilled the rest of the bag.

"Mom cooks even better than that" he said, glancing around outside.

He was trying to case the area and hoped she wasn't noticing. With a sigh of contentment she finished her sandwich and leaned against him. He took her trash and stuffed the bag with it, then balled up the bag to toss into the wire wastebasket.

"Two points," she joked.

"I should have been in the NBA," he joked. "Got the damn height. But damned if I could meet the weight requirement. Screw 'em though."

"Hmm," she sighed, snuggling closer. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her head to rest against his chest. For a moment, he looked at his watch.

"Wonder what the kiddies are doing right about now?"

"Me too," she wondered.