By StarbearerTM

Disclaimer: Disclaimer: KISS, Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons are real persons, and this story is not meant to harm or demean them in any manner. It is a work of fiction. Trynia Merin and other characters are property of the author. Rated R for sexual content and language, so no readers under 18 please.

One by one, the guests trickled out, en route to their reserved hotel rooms at the Doubletree Hotel, courtesy of Gene and Doc McGee industries bankroll. Gene wandered from room to room, unsuccessful in finding Terri. Most of the queried guests bade their respective good-byes, unaware of Terri's true whereabouts, other then the fact she had taken her car out for a temporary drive. Gene persisted in his previous theory that Terri had gone out for more toothpicks until mot of the guests expressed their concern and confusion for her prolonged absence.

"I just have one thing to say.... This party only appears to be missing one thing. A beautiful horny woman, who wants my body on a repeated basis," Gene muttered to himself.

Quickly he wandered back into the den, hunting for the hired help. Cupping his mouth between his hands he shouted, "Steve? Marianne?"

"Yes Mr. Simmons?" Marianne, his maid asked, rushing up. She was busy collecting the empty plastic cups and plates around the whole lower level.

"Have you seen Terri?"

"She told me she was going out for a drive..."

"Out for a drive?" Gene asked. "Why?"

"I don't know. She said something about needing to get some air..."

"Did she say WHEN she'd be back?"

"No she didn't..."

"Shit... this isn't like her," Gene muttered. "Are you SURE she didn't give you a message or anything?"

"Miss Merin might know, if you don't mind me saying so," Marianne said. "I saw them talking with raised voices before Terri left. She was crying..."

"What the hell... where is Trynia now?" Gene demanded, a sick feeling rising in his stomach.

"In the living room with Paul..." Marianne said, frightened at the darkening of Gene's light brown gaze. Scowling, he rushed past her into the living room.

Paul stretched out on the sofa; legs propped on the ottoman. Cuddled up alongside him, Trynia lay with her legs stretched out to the side along the long part of the sectional. Paul's long arm draped protectively over her shoulders, his other hand fingering the purple passion piece Trynia had been presented. He pursed his lips and chuckled, "Sharmane has a sense of humor on her, doesn't she? Jeez..."

"I know... she embarrassed the HELL out of me," Trynia groaned.

"I'm surprised Terri didn't..." Paul laughed, then stopped himself.

"Paul... Tryn... have either of you seen Terri?" Gene asked, rushing into the living room.

"Uh I haven't seen her," Paul shrugs. "Tryn? Where's the hostess of this stagette party?"

"Actually, she just stepped out.... For a bit," Trynia said with a hint of guilt.

"What honey?" he asked her.

"I heard it said she went for a drive. Care to tell me where she went, and when she was coming back?" Gene asked, hands on his hips. A bit uncomfortable, Trynia glanced helplessly at Paul, unsure of what to say before Gene. Her dark eyes held a secret she dared not reveal.

"Honey, if she went somewhere, Gene needs to know," Paul said, taking her hand firmly.

"Where would she go?" Gene asks. "To get more toothpicks?"

"She...she said that she's upset..." Trynia started.

"I mean the party just ended," Gene said firmly. "Where would she go?"

"She just mentioned that maybe things were getting a little overwhelming for her here and she wanted some time alone. I guess maybe the party got a little chaotic," Trynia sighed, after a long breath.

"WHAT?" Gene asks.

"Yeah, I know, but I think it's something other than that."

"Where's Jacob?" Gene asked suddenly.

"He's.... He's.... With Eve and Erica. They had him in the guestroom for awhile. I think he might be asleep."

"But where would she go?" Gene demanded.

Paul narrowed his eyes a bit. "Love, this doesn't make sense. Did you two have some kind of fight?"

"This was her idea, this party..." Gene rubbed his hair frantically. "And you mean to tell me she's GONE?"

"Look! I know! Just please.... You both are talking at me at the same time...." Trynia protested, blocking her ears with both hands on either side of her head.

"Tryn, we have to know. What the hell? You two FOUGHT? Where did she go?" Paul demanded.

"Did you fight?" Gene asked. "What's going ON here?"

"No! Damn it, Paul, we didn't fight...." she started again, as she met Gene's angry gaze. Inhaling deeply she collected her strength for her next revelation. Gene too took a breath, standing up from the sofa suddenly, his back to them.

"I went outside to the pool for a minute right before the strippers.... Uh.... dancers came..." Trynia started.

"Wait a minute here... what EXACTLY did she say to you?" Paul asked.

"And she was standing there by the pool, her back to me. I went up to her and started teasing her about how she was going to miss the men." she looked at Paul, feeling slightly guilty.

"WHAT?" Gene asked. Paul held up his hand to stop his friend.

"That's when I noticed she was crying" Tryn said, in a small voice.

"Crying?" Gene asked, suddenly.

"She was just standing there, tears running down her face, so of course immediately I thought maybe someone had been rude to her. There was...an incident.... Where MAYBE someone said something that MIGHT have been misconstrued...."

"Who said WHAT?" Gene asked, frantically pulling at his hair.

"Look, Gene, it doesn't matter, but BASICALLY, I think she's having a crisis over your.... Your relationship."

"What the HELL?" he demanded. "I can't believe..."

He suddenly turned his back, shoving his hands into his pockets. Paul leapt up from the sofa, grabbing his shoulder as he said, "Hey, Gene, EASY, buddy! Give the lady a chance to catch her breath. She's going to tell you everything!"

"I'm sorry, it's just... I mean you just told me that Terri said we were having a damn CRISIS..." he breathed, flustered.

"Gene, she's frustrated over how you ARE, I guess is the easiest way to say it. I think she'd having really doubts about what that ring on her finger means, and I really think she wants you to prove to her that...that you really do love her," Trynia explained, sitting helplessly on the sofa.

"But I've proved to her time and again..." he blurts out. "What on earth... Terri!"

"You prove to her in YOUR way, but do you really prove anything?" she whispered to Paul.

In a panic, Gene raced upstairs. He rushed out of the room, wildly racing to find the hired help.

Soberly, Trynia walked to the bottom of the stairs. She called up, "Gene, she left. She said she needed time away."

However no answer came. Paul joined her, scratching his head and mumbling to himself. She lowered her gaze and whispered, "She needed time away from you, Gene..."

"Crap, Trynia, how could you have let her GO?" Paul demanded.

"I didn't have a choice!" she cried. She turned to him with wild eyes, "Paul, you have to believe me, I had no idea what to do. She looked like a caged animal."

"So she went...where? What did she say? Surely she said SOMETHING to mom...I mean, hell, she wouldn't just leave Jacob without..."

"Paul, I don't KNOW! Honest to God, I don't. She just told me that she needs some time alone and she handed me Jacob."

Gene entered the bedroom and noticed that the walk-in closet was open. He rushed around, noticing clothes were gone, and frantically searched through the dresser drawers. Gene rushes into the bathroom and notices her cosmetics are gone. He hunted for ANYTHING that would reveal a SHRED of an idea what was going on.

"What the F*ck is this?" he wondered, noticing several prescription bottles amidst vitamin bottles. He glanced at the label, which read xenadrine. Holding the bottle, he tipped the pills out into his hand. "What the fuck is this shit?" he asked, examining them. Grabbing the various containers of diet pills, both prescription and over the counter, he rushed downstairs.

"TRYNIA!" he shouted. "I need a CHEMIST!"

"Gene... what are you hollering about... she' not there!" Trynia called up to him.

"Oh, she's not here, but look what the Hell I just found." Gene demanded, waving the medicine bottles under her nose. "What is this crap? What the hell is she taking?"

"What is that?" Tryn asked. "It looks like prescription medicine... but what's this in the bottle here?

"It looks like some sort of herbal vitamin formula." Paul muttered. "Weight loss by the look..."

"But why would she take this?" Gene asked, confused.

"It has xenadrine... it's like pseudo ephedrine... and this has Ma Huang in it..." Trynia read the labels. "And this prescription medicine is another form of ephedrine... and this here... this is St. John's Wort..."

"Holy crap..." Paul muttered.

"This just isn't LIKE Terri, to take something without telling me. Hell, she has a friggin' new BABY! Why would she do this?"

"This is for weight loss, Gene," Paul said, glancing over Trynia's shoulder. No stranger to weight loss himself, he had heard the dangers and myths of various weight loss remedies that could go dangerously wrong.

"This is a prescription diet pill... this St. Jon's wart is a natural mood stabilizer... and this other thing Ma Huang is for energy for working out..." Trynia muttered. "But she shouldn't be taking them all together like this... And in such high dosages..."

"GOD!" Gene growled. "This just all made fucking sense"

"Gene... look at this disclaimer..." Paul pointed to a warning on the label of the vitamin supplement, Ma Huang.

"She's been so damn freaked out lately about weight," Gene muttered. He took the bottle and read it. "Discontinue use if you experience the following symptoms...' She was having all THIS? Why wouldn't she TELL me?"

"And I was just reading about Ma Huang. It's not regulated by the FDA, and it can be addictive..." Trynia explained. "An d it causes irritability in some people..."

"Jesus, if she's taking these all together... that explains a lot," Paul said soberly.

"So, we do WHAT? Sit back and wait for her to combust? WHERE the hell did she go?" Gene snapped.

"Gene..." she said slowly, raising her hands. "I think she went to a friend's house."

"Jacob?" Gene asked, a bit concerned.

"He's with Mrs. Eisen, in the guesthouse," Trynia explained. "Terri... she said to take care of him... because she wasn't sure when she'd be back... and she didn't want to get him involved..."

"I can't believe she just... left..." Gene exclaimed.

"All she said to me... was that she had to go... collect her thoughts... and she didn't want Jacob involved... because she KNEW you'd be worried... and that this is something... she has to sort out herself..."

"And you didn't THINK to tell me this before..." Gene demanded, turning on her. Paul stepped forward, but Trynia stood resolute.

"I started to, but then you rushed upstairs..." Trynia rested a hand on her hip. "Before I could..."

"Gene, calm down... I'm sure she just went to visit a friend," Paul said.

"I'm calling her NOW and getting to the bottom of this," Gene snapped, rushing for the phone.

"Do you think she'd really leave her phone on?"

"Why don't we just call all the friends we know of, and see if she's there..."

"If she wants him to know, that is," Trynia sighed.

"I'm calling the police," Gene muttered, rushing off to the phone.

"Gene... you can't file a missing persons report till she's gone twenty four hours..." Paul told him. Both rushed off into the other room, leaving a very guilty Trynia there.

Out in the growing darkness of the evolving night, Terri roared off along the coast. Already the fading red of the sun gave way to dark purple studded with the few stars that could be perceived against the smog of LA. Brushing aside tears, she fought to control the raging demon that had set itself loose within.

Jacob, she had left him behind. What sort of a mother did that make her, she scolded herself. Yet what kind of a mother would she be in this wild state of mind, where nothing made sense, and everything drove her to rage or tears. All self-control seemed to ebb and flow with the giddy, racing pounding of her heart.

Evenings made it worse. Where the fast rush would not be denied, and all that worked was an evening run, or caffeine. Then to plunge into restless sleep that denied her the rest she needed. Instinctively she knew that she needed to get away. Yet, a portion of her mind told her to leave her son where he'd be safe. Gene would make sure he was well cared for, after all. Fewer questions would be asked, with his son safely in that vast mansion, with all the comforts money could buy. Comforts and a life that suddenly made her skin crawl.

"I should have taken him," she cursed. "Jacob, forgive me..."

Anger built to a pressure boil, and she swung the car quickly around in a U-turn. Of course, she HAD to go back for her son. Leaving him there with whom knows HOW many women. After all, Trynia wouldn't be there forever...

"Shit," she cursed, her mind turning again. Maternal instinct overrode the need to escape, and she gunned the engine, unaware of the jagged rocks by the side of the road. A flapping sound and a sudden jarring shook the car, and she swerved back and forth to compensate. To her left were mountains and the right the turnoffs for the beach.

From under the car, she felt a horrible jolt, as her car scraped the barrier. Heart pounding in her chest she struggled to straighten out her path, and guide the unwieldy mustang to the shoulder. There came a twisted sound of metal, and her car jittered to a stop.

For a moment she breathed in and out, afraid her heart would burst with the rush of sudden adrenaline. From head to toe, she quivered, sitting there in complete silence in the cold night air. Laying her head back, she felt the hot tears come again, and unclipped her seat belt. Slowly she willed herself to sit up, and look at her immediate surroundings. Hazard lights she flipped on, and shakily opened the door, glad she could. Still keeping her hands on the side of the car, she followed it around to the front, which had skidded dangerously close to the rail. Streaks and scrapes crisscrossed the front bumper, and she noticed the shreds of a tire hanging from the bent strut of a twisted tie rod. Whatever she had run over had caused her wheel to jar loose, hanging on by only a few nuts and bolts.

"Shit... holy fucking crap..." she cursed, kicking the front bumper with her chunk heeled sandal. "Goddamn Son of a fucking BITCH!"

The sound of her hollering brought her to sudden awareness. Here she was, heart pounding in the middle of a dark interstate, miles from any city. How had things gone from bad to worse? And yet, there was a sense of icy resignation that settled on her soul. Down an incline, over the railing she saw the slope of the hill curving to what appeared to be a private beach. Indeed, she had unwittingly driven over the gate and chain in her haste to pull over. What was left of her rational mind reasoned that was what tore her tie rod out of alignment, this metal triangle gate. Over the night breeze, she heard the tumbling rush of surf down below.

She opened the trunk, and pulled out the blanket, and some flares. She lit both, placing one at the front of the car, and one along about fifty feet back. Cell phone shoved into her purse, she left her car and climbed over the steel gate. The impulse to leave the car grew stronger, and she stumbled down the incline where the sand dune started. She half slid down to where the beach started properly, and lay the blanket down. Flopping onto it, she hid her head in her hands and began to cry. All the restrained emotions burst out in a sudden rush, overcoming the numbness in a flood of hot tears. Terri picked her up her cell phone and dialed one of the stored numbers after a time. Beyond frustrated, she hoped that person would pick up.

Frantic rings passed, and finally a voice sleepily said, "Hello?"

"Rita. Thank GOD! Look, I hate to bother you....shit....I need a favor," Terri asked.

"Terri?" she asked, total surprise in her voice. "Where ARE you at this time of night? You sound upset... what's going on..."

"I was out for a drive near the coast. I just needed some TIME, I suppose. There are.... some issues.... The next thing I know, I'm contending with a flat tire and totally dead car!"

"Time... wait a minute... you're not at home? WHY are you driving around at this hour?" Rita asked. "What is this about issues?"

"Everything has been going CRAZY lately... I mean... I just can't seem to get my head straight... and I feel like I'm going insane sometimes lately... And here I am, stuck out here all alone."

"Why aren't you at home?" Rita asked. "Can't you call that rich boyfriend of yours?"

"No..... It's...damn...Gene...I needed some time to think. We've been having some problems. Actually, it's more like I'VE been having some problems. Gene's not changed a damn bit."

"He hasn't hurt you in any way has he?" Rita asked, a note of concern in her voice that resembled quickening anger.

"Oh, jeez, no. Gene would never do that," Terri sniffled. "It's just... I feel... suddenly.... I don't know, Rita. It's like it's all collapsing."

"Terri... have you told him where you ARE? My god it's LATE at night... If my husband knew I was out at 12 thirty in the morning he'd be worried SICK!"

"I know... but... I just can't face him... he'll be furious that I took off... and left him and the kid... and how do I..."

"You should call him and ask him to come get you!" Rita said firmly. "At LEAST tell him you're okay, and you need a tow truck, my god girl!"

"Rita, do you ever feel like you're not good enough for Rob? I mean, do you ever feel like you're not thin enough, not smart enough, not charming enough, not graceful enough...damn."

"Sometimes Hon, but what has this got to do with anything..."

"WHY am I like this? I was never insecure! What the hell is happening to me?" Terri cried.

"Terri, you're scaring me!"

"Look, is Gene somewhere tonight he SHOULDN'T be?"

"This isn't like you at all!"

"Gene is.... It's no different that it usually is, I'm sure. He went to a bachelor party for Paul. I'm SURE there are women there and I'm SURE they are all over him."

"Well... you did say he had a roving eye... is that what is making you upset? Is he cheating on you?" Rita wondered.

She sighed, "Define 'cheating'. For Gene, the actual act of sex with someone else is not necessarily cheating. But flesh on flesh? That's just FUN and games for him," she snorted sarcastically.

"Well he is Gene Simmons," Rita reminded her. "I mean I'm not a fan but I know enough about him..."

"For Gene, going against your word is cheating," Terri said softly. "And he's never ONCE told me anything to make me feel less than what those playboy bunnies are. SO, WHY am I feeling like this? Like I'm sinking."

"Terri... look... are you sure you're feeling okay? How long have you been feeling like this?"

"Yeah, I know you do and I do too. Hell, I knew all about Gene when we first met and my eyes have been open the whole time. Again, I just don't understand why suddenly it makes me want to scream."

"Well... what about that ring he gave you?" Rita asked. "Awfully funny coming from a man who makes affair a middle name."

"That's part of the problem. Is it that I'm good enough to warm his bed and good enough to bear his children, but NOT good enough to march down the aisle?" Terri sighed.

"You're pretty stressed about that friend's wedding. Maybe it's taking its toll on you, honey," said Rita. "Are you jealous of Trynia? Getting married, and you aren't?"

The direct question stunned Terri, giving voice to what she had denied for so many nights. Slowly she admitted, "In a way, I am. But in a way, it's foolish because what I WANT is what she has with Paul...only I want it with GENE. And he's just not able to give me that."

"Terri... I've never known you to really believe you'd EVER get married," Rita half laughed. "I mean you always told me you were too damn independent to answer to ANY man..."

"I know. It's like going into a Mexican restaurant and getting mad because they can't serve you spaghetti. You knew DAMN well before you went in what type of establishment it was. And that's the way it is with Gene. No one can say I didn't know."

"Yeah, but aren't you getting a little crazy about this whole thing... I mean why have things suddenly changed?" Rita asked. "Are you suddenly jealous because it's Paul that is getting married? I mean you did have a jones for him once, right?"

"You really know how to cut a girl," Terri said weakly.

"Look, if you don't care for his cheating, then leave," Rita shrugged.

"If suddenly it means THAT much to you, then walk out the door. He's not keeping you there with any commitment is he?"

"I CAN'T, Rita. I can't," Terri cried. "Not with my son there..."

"And why not? You're not married to him. Why should you not leave when you want to?"

"Because I'm so damn mixed up, I don't know what I want any more, other than I guess I want.... What Trynia has," Terri sniffed, wiping her eyes.

"Well I don't know what to tell you girlfriend," said Rita with a resigned sigh. "Except that if a man gave me a ring... that looked like an engagement ring I'd expect a damn wedding. I think you got gypped by Gene."

"What is wrong with me, Rita? Why is this suddenly become such a big deal? And WHY does some march down the aisle somehow validate what Gene and I have?"

"I don't know honey," came Rita's answer. "I wish I knew what to tell you. Look, didn't he make it clear you could leave whenever you wanted?"

"God..." she wiped her eyes, "I.... .... Need a jump-start here. I'm in the middle of friggin' nowhere and I've got to get home to Jacob at some point."

"Look Terri, what do you want me to do? You want me to call AAA or call Gene?" Rita suggested. "He deserves to know where you are at least..."

"There is DEFINITELY the kid and Gene's an awesome father. And believe it or not, he's an awesome lover and an awesome friend and an awesome confidante," Terri admitted. "But somehow even THAT isn't making me feel any better."

"Terri, look, what do you want me to do?"

"I guess...if you wouldn't mind calling Gene.... I'm not sure I could talk to him right now" she sobbed softly.

"Okay..."

"Just tell him I need help and ask him to please send someone out here. I'm about a half mile from Surf Coast Pizza."

"Okay... hang on I'll call..." Rita offered. "You sit tight..."

"I don't care. Just let him figure it out."

"But do me a favor... please at least TELL Gene what's on your mind okay? Please call him!" Rita said.

"I will...I'll try to come up with something" she smiled weakly.

"Rita.... Thanks."

"Hey, what are friends for?" Rita laughed.

Tensely Gene cradled his son on his lap, biting his lip as he fed the fussing child a bottle. A half dozen phone calls to Terri yielded no answer, and he had called every number in her directory in the hopes that someone would know her whereabouts. However, there were a few numbers left to try. Paul and Trynia had busied themselves with calling people they knew. This was why Gene leapt out of the chair, still holding his son when the phone rang.

"Hello?" he shouted into the phone. "TERRI, is that you?"

"Let me take him," Trynia offered, reaching for his son. He passed Jacob off to her, and concentrated fully on the phone.

"Hello... Mr. Simmons?" came a female voice, he did not recognize.

"Yeah...who's this?" he barked.

"I'm Rita... Rita Martinez..." said the female voice. "I'm a friend of Terri's."

"Well, she's not fucking here" he snapped.

"Look Mr. Simmons... she asked me to call you," Rita answered curtly, "I'm her sorority sister..."

"Oh...shit..." he snapped, then fell silent. "She asked YOU to call me... well WHERE the hell is she? Is she with you, is she all right... TELL ME!"

"She's okay... She's just stuck somewhere..." said Rita.

"Where the HELL is she? She just took off, and no one has a CLUE. She's still got our son here!" he started again, voice rising again.

"Mr. Simmons, chill!" Rita snapped back. "I think you should go and pick her up. She's pretty upset and her car's broke down. Now do you WANT to know where she is or NOT?"

"Let me see...oh.... Well.... YEAH, I think I'd LIKE to know," he snarled sarcastically. Then he thought better of it and sighed heavily. "Sorry look, just TELL me where she is... please.."

"Mr. Simmons... Look... she's REALLY upset..." Rita said earnestly.

"I really think you should calm down and think... I don't know WHAT'S up with her... she's not the Terri I know."

"Ms. Martinez, I appreciate you calling. REALLY, I do. I'm sorry for being an asshole, but you have to understand what this is like for me."

"I know," Rita answered sympathetically. "If I was lost, believe me my husband would probably be the SAME way... She's one of my best friends from school and she's creeping ME out. I know you love her. That's why I'm calling you now..."

He fumbled in his pocket for his pocket organizer and a pen. He asked, "Give me the damn address and I'm out the door in ten minutes...tops."

Listening to her instructions, he whipped his pen across the paper, digging deep into its lined surface to vent his frustration. He turned to Paul and whispered, "Do you mind staying with the kid?"

"My mom's still here," Paul offered. "She'd be glad to watch him... provided she can stay in the guesthouse..."

"Would you guys mind staying around here till I bring her back?" Gene asked. "And could you call Shannon to come get Nick and Sophie?"

"Sure..." said Paul. "Just go bring Terri home..."

"Mr. Simmons, you got that address?" Rita asked.

"I know just where that is," he said as he snapped his fingers against the paper. "Eric Singer loves that damn place."

"Good... I'm REALLY sorry this is going down..." Rita told him as he grabbed his coat. "I hope you guys work it out... Judging from how pissed off you are now, you really must miss her."

"You and me both." he sighed. "And I'm going to bust my ass to try to figure out WHY too."

"I hope you do... Mr. Simmons..." she said. "Terri's lucky to have a man like you on her side."

"Later, Rita...."

"Goodnight Mr. Simmons... Gene..." she corrected herself. "Tell her I'm worried about her too..."

"Goodnight and good luck. I will. Thanks for calling," he emphasized as he tossed the phone to Paul, and rushed out the door toward his driveway.

Gene pulled around the bend, frantically scanning and squinting for the black mustang convertible. Immediately he spotted the flares burning, and the blinking of hazard lights close behind it. At sight of it his stomach turned, before he reminded himself that she had called Rita, so she must be all right. Momentarily panicking he pulled the hummer up behind her car, and leapt out. In his hand, he clutched the end of his magnlight flashlight, flipping it quickly on. The small circle of bright light dancing around the vehicle revealed the shredded tire and scuff paint, and he shook his head. Glancing around he shouted, "TERRI!"

She turned her head in the direction of his voice, and saw a dark silhouette against the deepening night sky, that eclipsed the stars. Her gaze returned to the water as a lump formed in her throat.

Cold wind puffed at him from behind, the sound of surf his only answer so far. His coat swirled around his long legs as he called her name again, "TERRI!"

"I'm over here, Gene," came her faint answer. Climbing over the steel gate, he stumbled down the slops of the sand dune, kicking up a dust cloud as he went. Upon a blanket huddled a figure, about fifty yards from the lines of ocean scrabbled on the moonwashed sand. Particles of the beach itself seemed to be pouring into Gene's boots despite the fact they came well above his ankles, and he momentarily thought of taking them off and walking in the sand, however there was no telling what sharp glass or other objects were out of view. A flash of light hit her directly in the face as he reached her side, revealing wide, hurt eyes looking back at him.

"Good god woman, you had me worried SICK!" he snapped, reaching her side.

"I'm.... sorry about this. It's that damn car," she answered, not able to look at him, but watching the curling breakers instead of salty foam.

"Are you hurt..." he asked gruffly, kneeling next to her on the sand.

"Did some asshole try to run you down?"

"There's no need to worry, Gene. I'm just fine." she said bitterly. "No traveling highway psychos chose to grace me with their presence tonight."

"Good... but mind telling me WHY you ran off in the middle of the night?" he asked. "Without calling me or telling me WHERE you were going?"

"I just.... needed some time to think. That's all. The party was getting a bit out of hand and the girls were having plenty of fun without me raining on the damn festivities."

"I was worried SICK!" he said angrily, moving in front of her. She looked down at the sand and tried to push back tears.

"I'm not worth worrying about, Gene." She answered flatly.

"Now WHAT the hell does that mean?" Gene snapped.

"Something's wrong.... and I don't know whether it's with US, or with me, but for the past few weeks, something has been eating away at me. And it's winning...."

"Terri... look, WHY didn't you say something sooner?" Gene choked, voice suddenly quavering in its emotion. "I want to know WHAT the hell is going on, and what is wrong... and I want to know NOW."

"Gene..." she said, unable to answer.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bottle. "And why the FUCK you are taking DIET pills!"

"Where did you get those? You have NO RIGHT...." she shouted at him, as he shoved the bottle in her face.

"Do you have a right to pump this shit into your body?" Gene shouted back. "My god Terri you're a CHEMIST! Don't you know what this shit does?"

"What I do with MY BODY and FOR my body is NONE of your damn concern," Terri cried, whisking the bottle away from him.

"Oh yeah it's NOT my concern when you could get addicted to ma Huang and other shit... On top of xenadrine?" He said sarcastically. "I suppose it's not my concern when my woman could get heart palpitations and mood swings that make PMS look like a walk in the park?"

"So, what? I need to live by YOUR rules all the time? No drinking, no smoking, now, no pills of any sort. Well, excuse me, Gene!" she yelled. He backed away, standing up and pacing for a bit. Terri bit her lip, quivering all over as her heart pounded in her chest.

"And why she won't even TALK to me..." he continued, half turning again. "When something's BOTHERING HER? Whatever happened to HONESTY Terri?"

"You...you don't know that that is what it is. You have no idea how I feel," she answered, voice trembling with anger and that strange squirming monster that raged inside.

"I don't? Excuse me... but WHAT are you talking about?" he asked, rushing back to her side. "Trynia herself said this shit can affect people... in this way... Ma Huang, St. Jon's wart... this other crap all together... she said they can kill someone's mood! Not to mention ruin their self esteem and a number of OTHER allergic reactions if not taken properly..."

"So, your point being, that if I stop taking this, suddenly the evil monster will go back into my closet?" she choked.

"No," Gene held up his hand. "My point is, that I had no fucking clue something was wrong... And this is just a symptom of it."

"Gene, WHAT does this mean?" she says to him, almost in a yell, waving the engagement ring in his face. It flashed in the light of his magnlight, almost blinding him for a moment.

"Is this what this is all about?" he asked. "That ring?"

"Tell me that you either fucking love me for who I am, or that you don't!" Terri cried. "And make me stop feeling like I have to complete with every piece of meat homecoming queen that prances in and out of your life on a daily basis."

He fell silent, and clicked off the flashlight. Sighing, he settled down next to her on the blanket. In the dark, she could not see the expression on his face, but from his voice timber, she guessed she had hurt him with her words far more then she realized. He finally answered, "you know I love you... I'd have thought that by now you'd know it... Terri you KNOW what I am like...."

"Yes, but tell me WHY it's an issue!" she yelled back.

"I told you from the get go what life would be like... I said we should take things as they come... didn't I?"

"I KNOW that, damn it....I KNOW" she snaps in frustration.

"So WHY is this an issue? Are you still in love with Paul... is THAT it? Because god damn it... I can't fucking compete with that. Haven't I done ENOUGH to make you forget?" he shouted, anger laced in every syllable.

"Gene, for the first time since we started this fight last month, this time it is totally NOT about Paul. It's about us," she answered.

"What about us..." he asked, fear creeping into the mix now. "Does this mean... you no longer want to be with me... is that it. If so.. tell me now..."

"We are....what? Boyfriend and girlfriend? Fiancées? Lovers? Explain it to me. What am I to you?" she asked. "Tell me the truth..."

"You remember... back when you had that nightmare..." Gene began, trying hard not to blow his words.

"You want the truth? Do you really, because personally I think you are going to HATE it!" she cried, her voice breaking too.

"I always want the truth..." he said. "Nothing but. Just as long as it means that I can still see Jacob. If you want full custody...If you want full custody, I can understand.... if this is it... but don't think I will stand by and not take care of him like a father should..."

"I want to know......I want...." she said, her heart aching at the anguish now present in his breaking voice.

He made a fist with his hand, and pounded the sand angrily, "I take care of my own... always!"

"Gene, this is not about your abilities as a father. Whatever we think about each other personally, I've never doubted your ability to love our son."

"Then... you'll let me see him," he said slowly, his own mind trying to grasp the situation. How could the best thing that happened to him suddenly be denied him? All the wealth in the world and it wasn't getting him what he wanted now.

"Gene......" she stated in a loud voice. "That's NOT what I'm talking about. "I have to know one thing."

He turned to her, slightly hunched at the shoulders. Slowly he rose from the blanket, thrust his hands into his pockets, and strode out toward the ocean a few steps. He eclipsed her view of the sea for a moment, blocking the wind. Grimly he returned, and stood over her as he said, "Terri... I can't just let you walk out of my life... Before you say ANYTHING... I can't just stand here and let you slip away... again..."

She started to speak, then grows silent and looked at him with pain in her eyes, "Gene... I need..."

"Dammit... I almost lost you once..." Gene interrupted her, words in a torrent that flew out into the silence. "you can't tell me this is it.... because I won't stand for it. We've been through too much! And now on the eve of my best friend's wedding... you're having doubts about you and me... I can't let you get away from me... not now..."

His hands gripped her shoulders imploringly, as he leaned over her. She glanced up at him again, and said, "Gene, I have to know that you love me enough to give me what Paul is giving Trynia. I have to know that even if you are afraid, that you could stand before God and all our families and take an oath with me."

"Then... you don't mean... that this is the end?" he asked, bewildered.

"No... I just have... I have to know that I mean that much to you." she says quietly.

Hair blowing in the wind, Gene blinked at her. Then he looked up at the sky, closing his eyes for a moment. He muttered, "Damn, you know I hate answering to anyone. It's not so much about not loving anyone... it's the whole institution... Loosing yourself... I can't expect you to understand... I thought you had..."

"Yes, I KNOW, and so I've heard you say, but I need you to tell me, just between us, that you would do that for me," she said. "If it came between having me or not having me..."

Gene's fists clenched and unclenched as he looked briefly out to sea. He turned around and faced her after a moment. Then he knelt in the sand near her, face vulnerable and helpless. She saw the sadness and fear in his face. It was a look very uncharacteristic of him.

"You remember what I said Terri..." he asks quietly. "When you had that terrible nightmare about that stalker?"

His hand rested on her shoulder and clenched tightly. She reached her hand over to touch him slightly. Holding her breath, she waited to see what he would do.

"I asked you... best friends and lovers forever, didn't I?" he asked softy.

"Yes, you said that, but what does it MEAN?" she whispered.

"That's a good question," he cleared his throat. "Man... You know the story behind that ring, don't you?"

"It means that you wouldn't marry me. It means that if I asked you, you'd tell me no" she said sadly as she moved his hand aside, and tried to get up.

"Calen and I met Paul in NYC... and he was shopping for an engagement ring..." Gene said, pushing her down onto the blanket. "And he asks MY advice on what ring to pick."

She looked down at the ring in silence, unable to look at him as he continued his story, "And then the guy has the NERVE to say I know NOTHING about that sort of thing. Well, it was like something went off in my head... And I couldn't let him NOT know that I had no CLUE of what something like that... how significant it was..."

Gene faltered for a moment, then scratched his head, "This is going to sound lame ass, but I couldn't let him have something I didn't have... Paul and I... we've always had our pissing contests. but when I saw that ring, picked it up and had it in my hand, it suddenly meant something far more then I thought. And then I knew, I had to give you something... some sign that I could... I didn't even think I'd have the balls to give it to you..."

"You're not going to sit here and tell me that you bought this ring because Paul DARED you," she asked with a note of warning in her voice.

"No," he answered quickly. "I DARED me. And then I saw that look on your face when I saw our son being born... I knew it was the right time to give it to you... Because it was at that moment that you and I had a bond that few people could share..."

"It's a beautiful ring." she said quietly.

"And you wanted MORE then just a place to sleep, and a life to share..." Gene's voice faltered. "I don't know WHAT I'm saying, but I'm getting all screwed up here... shit.."

"Go on, Gene, please...." she coaxed.

"Basically Terri, what this ring means is... well... it means... that you and I... well... That we're together... where it really counts... here..." he says, and pointed to his chest. "And I can't imagine anyone else being a more fit partner... to spend the rest of my life with..."

"What would you do?" she pressed on.

"And if it meant that much to me for us to take it a step further.... Terri," he sighed, taking her hand. "If it meant THAT much to you... even though I wouldn't BELIEVE in it myself..."

"Believe in what?" she asked, her heart pounding faster.

"If I couldn't have you in my life otherwise... I suppose... I would do anything... to make DAMN sure that NOTHING took you away from me again... NOTHING."

She smiled at him as she felt her eyes tear up. He let out a sigh, and kisses her hand softly, clinging to it. Seizing his face, she kissed his lips gently.

"Just PLEASE don't leave like this... please... I don't want to loose you... I need you... I want you... good god I love you Terri..." he cried, seizing her hand and kissing it vehemently.

"I would never ask you to do something that isn't right for you....for US. It means the WORLD to me to hear that you would, though," Terri choked, kissing his cheeks and lips quickly as she again cried. "And that we COULD have that, but chose not to, as opposed to me being not good enough."

"Does this mean that you're coming home?" he asked her.

"Yes," she whispered as she hugged him. "I can't imagine being any place else."

Gene hugged her tightly, on his knees before her. Crushing her close to his body he feared she would evaporate he held her so tightly. Pulling back for a moment he asked, "Aren't you cold?"

"A little..." she shivered. Drawing off his coat, he draped it around her. She smelled cologne and fresh leather. Under her fingers, she realized he was still wearing the blazer and shirt he'd worn to the bachelor party. He sat next to her, wrapping his arm around her and hugging her to his side.

"Normally I don't like the outdoors much, but this beach reminds me of a very interesting movie..." he whispered into her ear softly.

"I can't believe those damn pills got to me like this, honey. It's like they took a situation that was bothering me before, and enlarged it into this major stumbling block," she shivered, tears still falling.

"Terri, I wish you had told me you felt weird about your damn weight... I mean look at me..." Gene scolded her gently. "Maybe you should have taken that Tai-bo class with me..."

"I am looking at you, sweetheart, and I see that you are incredibly gorgeous, and you are surrounded by gorgeous bathing beauties on a regular basis. Now if THAT isn't cause for a little insecurity, I don't know what is."

"Shit, do you think LOOKS are what makes someone sexy?" Gene rolled his eyes. "I told you a million times, every woman is beautiful and special. It's how she presents herself that makes her sexy... Sure a nice ass and a great rack help... but if she doesn't THINK she's sexy, then it's my job to help her BELIEVE it."

"I know Gene... it's just I've been having these splitting headaches...." she said as a tear rolls down her face.

"And I have the aspirin," he joked cheekily, flickering his tongue along her neck. "Haven't I told you that before?"

"I've never felt beautiful in my entire life and that's the truth," Terri admitted.

"Then you're seriously wrong Terri," Gene answered.

"And these things were SUPPOSED to help me" she says flinging the bottle in the sand.

"Didn't I tell you that you were a sweet attractive sexy woman... too good for a playboy like Paul?"

She smiled at that statement, and blushed, "Yes...."

"Look who you ended up with. Nothing but the best."

"Me? Too good for Paul? Yeah, I do recall hearing you telling me that. I think it was pretty closely followed by a bitch session in your dressing room," she laughed.

"Well he couldn't handle how much woman you are," Gene continued. "And I am not talking about mere weight, I'm talking about your temper, your fire, your drive..."

"And me telling him to get the hell out of my life" she chuckled. He stroked a hand affectionately over her breast at this, then pulled it back for a moment.

"Yeah, you sure did. I knew you had a temper on you, and that was one of the things that is your most endearing qualities..."

"I don't usually let this side of me show, now do I?" she grinned ruefully.

"No you don't," he smiled. "but I love it as much as the rest of you, sweetheart.'

"I promise once I get off this shit, you'll be returned to my regularly scheduled Type A personality," she answered, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"You put up with ME don't' you? And for THAT you should be rewarded."

he lifted up her hand and kissed it softly, running his tongue over her skin lightly.

"A reward," she smiled, "Now just what exactly does THAT mean?"

"Hmmm... A beach, a sexy woman, and the ocean..." Gene rumbled into her ear. "And a very comfortable blanket..."

"I know a better place to sit," she said, and crawled into his lap.

"That's definitely a better place to sit then the sand, right?" Gene purred.

"Since we're here and all alone, I would LOVE to hear about the movie you've got in mind, because if it's the same one I'm thinking about, it did involve quite a bit of rolling in the surf."

"Hmm," he laughed, and stroked her back. She leaned her head down and lightly rested it on his shoulders. She winced a bit in pain as her headache comes and goes again. He started to rub her temples.

"Headache again?" he asked, rubbing her shoulders sensually. She closed her eyes as the pain came and went, and she smiled at the feel of his fingers. He spread his legs, put her between them and started to rub her shoulders.

"It's been coming and going since I started those damn things."

"Hmmm... then perhaps I need to provide some aspirin..." he grinned.

"Not to mention the fact that I feel like my heart is leaping out of my chest sometimes."

Gene leaned over and kisses her neck softly. "You really should see a doctor..."

"Now are you talking about a real one, or one of the Love persuasion?" she panted.

"Both..." he purred into her ear, softly kissing it. "Are you all right now?"

"At least for the moment, I'm feeling much better" she smiled.

Gene smiled back, "I'm glad... I hate to think of you suffering all that time... just to shed some pounds.... To compete with those bunnies... when you're always my main rabbit..."

"We sure f*k like rabbits don't we, love?"

"I really hate to admit this, even to myself, but I guess it would surely feel nice to be able to compete physically with some of your conquests."

"As a matter of fact... you do," he whispers in her ear.

She laughed out loud for the first time, "Your main rabbit.....God, I love you!"

"Some of the bunnies themselves say for a woman your height and age you make them wish they'd not dropped 20 pounds," he joked. Seizing his face, she kissed him hard. He kissed her hard in return, slipping his tongue into her mouth and savoring the kiss. Lying back, he pulled her with him.

"I have to admit, I sure wouldn't want the scrutiny that goes with that job. I'd much rather sit back with a nice slice of pie or some warm cookies and just enjoy the evening with you."

"Mm, now you're talking," he hummed. He pulled her to lie across him, covering them both with his overcoat. She continued to kiss him hungrily, glad to be feeling much better about their relationship. And so glad that he did not walk off. Gene rolled her over so he was on top of her a bit, covering her.

"And have I ever told you that I enjoy being able to lay on top of a woman and not be afraid to be poked by her bony ribs?" he whispered with a chuckle. "You're so much more comfortable to lie on, you know? Especially with the number of desserts I seem to be eating lately..."

She kissed him on the cheek, "Now don't you start. I can't handle an insecure Demon..."

"And you think you're the only one who worries about competing?" he joked. "when I thought of you next to Mr. perfect rock star god with the million dollar ass? And the million dollar body? Not to mention those Chippendales? And I don't mean Walt Disney's chip and dales."

She reached down, grabbed his ass and squeezed it. She cooed, "Hmmm, personally I'd put a pretty high mark on this particular ass right here."

"I like the sound of that..." He put his fingers into her neck to check her pulse. "Doll, are you okay..."

"And Paul has NOTHING on you, darling. Trust me. I've had you both."

"How sweet she is..." Gene grinned.

"Just feeling a little weak, that's all. It might be partly because I just about had to witness my beloved walk out of my life."

"I thought you wanted to walk out of my life," he whispered, brushing hair away from her face. "I couldn't bear the thought of loosing you... I know I can be an asshole about some things..."

"But you've always been there when it counts....and look, now you're making me get all mushy on you," Terri laughed.

"Yeah, you have that effect on me..."

"This is sort of nice, you know. You, me and miles and miles of oceans...." she hummed as he kissed her neck, covering her with his warm body again.

"Hmm..." Gene sighed. He lay a bit more to one side, still covering her

with his body. He leaned on his side and rests her head on his chest.

"And tons of sand, and plenty of darkness, and NO annoying people around to bother us," she hummed.

"Mm, you thinking what I'm thinking?" Gene asked. He started to stroke her breasts, and unbutton her shirt. His fingers stole under her shirt and fondled her skin.

She chuckled, "When it comes to that, I am ALWAYS thinking what you're thinking."

"Incidentally, yours ARE the best..." he whispered. She moaned audibly, but he can hardly hear her over the surf. He kissed her neck, and spread her shirt aside. Then he worked one breast out of her bra and nibbles on it lightly.

"And if you'll NOTICE, they are 100% real, unlike, perhaps, some of your OTHER conquests" she clears her throat to tease him, his hair tickling her bare skin.

"Thank GOD for Mother Nature..." he moaned. "I hate chewing silicone."

"Mmm..." she groaned.

"And is THIS real enough for you?" he asked, guiding her hands down to his thighs. He slipped her hand into his pants.

"Yes, and screw the damn ocean view. This is the most beautiful sight I care to see..."

"Hmm, speaking of screwing..." he hummed, unbuttoning her skirt and slipping it down. He reached into her panties and fingered her moistness. They huddled under his overcoat together, body heat banishing the brisker night air around them. Gene sneakily slipped off most her clothes, but he's still got most of his on. She was pinned between the blanket and his body.

"Now, forgive me, kind sir, for the rude mention, but I can't help but notice that perhaps you are a bit overdressed for the ocean," Terri laughed.

"Hmm do tell?" he whispered, rubbing her bare skin with his fingertips.

"Yes, you are DECIDEDLY overdressed, my dear" she says as she fingers the buttons on his shirt.

"And you're doing WHAT about it?"

"You just sit back and watch, sir. You are definitely due for an undressing," she said as she moves her hand down his shirt.

"I like a woman who takes charge..."

"Especially when it comes to naughty romps by the water, I'll bet."

"Umm hmmm..." he laughed, letting her unbutton his shirt.

"You know, you are totally nuts, but I love you for coming down here tonight," she whispered as she stroked his chest.