Disclaimer: Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons and KISS are actual persons, and they are property of themselves. The portrayal of them in this story is fictitious, and is the work of a fan, for entertainment purposes only, not to demean or harm the people mentioned. Other characters are copyright by Trynia Merin. My thanks to Eisencookie, Ms Starchild and Ilovepaul66 for help with this story!

Gene and Mandi soon returned to the hotel, after having finished up at the restaurant. Still pensive and worried about his daughter, he said little after telling Mandi the story of his time with Ray.

"I should have my head examined," he muttered to Mandi

"I know Gene, but at least he seems to be enjoying himself..." she said.

They noticed Paul sitting in bar, contemplating a cup of coffee as he stared at a paper. Gene glanced to Mandi with concern, and they strode over to him.

"What's this, I thought you were going to join Julia," Gene asked, taking a chair and sitting next to him.

"She was going to sleep when I left her," he said. "Just wanted to relax. So I decided I needed some air and came down here for a cup of coffee..."

"That's not like you at all," Gene joked.

"Well, she seemed to need her space. And who am I to refuse her that?" Paul asked. He had changed into more casual clothes, and as usual the expression on his face was exasperatingly unreadable and level.

"Have you heard from your son at all?" Gene asked, realizing this was one of those suddenly closed subjects.

"Nope. But I actually think that worked out pretty well" Paul smiles.

"Oh great," Gene sighed. "YOU WOULD..."

"Kind of nice to see my son with a lady friend" Paul teased. "Sometimes I think he spends too much time on school work and not enough just enjoying being a kid."

"Sounds like it!" Mandi chirped brightly.

"Yeah, but you really think my daughter... shit..." Gene groaned.

"He even told me the other day he's got a little band started up."

"A band?" Gene asked.

"Ahhhh, I don't know, Gene. Elliott's not dated much. He dated that one girl, you remember her, but I think she was pretty straight laced."

"What sort of band?" Gene asked, shortly distracted by the band news.

"Yeah, he was saying he's got some guys and they do some cover tunes. He's trying his hand at writing. I think he feels a bit intimidated by it, if you ask my opinion" Paul says, sipping his coffee.

"Hmm," Gene muttered. He flagged the waiter down for a cup of coffee, and soon he was spooning sugar into a cup along with his friend while Mandi patiently watched.

"It sounds like your son is pretty creative, and he's cute enough to be in a band" Mandi smiled. "He's got the LOOK."

"He's got a lot of talent. It's still pretty raw though. I don't know if he's decided for sure what he's going to do. I'm ASSUMING he wants to teach music, but he never really says. Every time I ask him, it's 'I don't know, dad, I'm feeling my way around."

"Have you ever heard him?" Gene asked.

"I just HOPE that he doesn't forget to apply himself and work hard. I've seen too many kids flounder because daddy has money," Paul sighed.

"Hmm," Gene muttered. "God forbid."

"No, not yet. He says they're still getting it together and he'll let me know. Ask me, I think he's avoiding the issue."

"Because of who you are." Mandi finished.

"Yep," Paul said.

"Exactly," Gene said, clanging his cup down. "And it's because of WHO he is t hat I'm worried about Jeannie."

"GENE!" Mandi gasped. Paul put his cup down and looks at Gene.

"OK, I'll bite. Meaning, what?"

"Like father, like son," Gene said.

"He's NOT at all like PAUL!" Mandi shook her head. "I mean he's younger. And well..."

Paul chuckled a bit in disbelief, "So, because I've got a crappy track record in my love life, he's going to ALSO?"

"Well," Gene said. "Unless he remains the shy introverted type..."

"Perhaps he'll follow YOUR lead, Gene, and just screw her without marriage for 19 years," Paul said acidly.

"Fuck that," Gene growled. Mandi gasped a bit.

"My son may have his challenges in life, but he's a good, responsible kid. No man, I resent what you're implying," Paul said in a low, angry voice. "That somehow he's not GOOD enough for your daughter."

"So does my daughter..." Gene said. "I'm not saying he's not good enough..."

"Like she's friggin' dipped in GOLD or something?" Paul added sarcastically.

"It might be dangerous," Gene finished. "Because we're like family..."

"I hear you there," Paul sighed.

"I just... she's my little girl," Gene said plaintively.

"Look, I'll be the first to admit that Elliott has had a shitty role model as for as romance is concerned. Karen and I didn't really do him any favors, but damn, he's 26 now. I think he can figure out how to treat a lady," said Paul. "It's not like he sleeps around, or if he DOES, he certainly never told me about it."

"He doesn't seem like he would," Mandi added. Gene sighed.

"I'm NOT saying the kids a saint. I'm not blind. I just don't think he's catting around," said Paul.

"Mandi? Hon, can you please wait in the room for me?" Gene asked. "I need to talk to Paul, alone..."

"Oh...sure...that's fine," she said, momentarily disappointed to not get to stay with Gene and Paul. "Sure, Mr. Simmons..."

"Thank you," he nodded.

"Will we have work to do later?" she asked Gene, hopefully.

"Yes," he smiled. "WE have lots to catch up on."

"Good!" she chirped.

"Now off with you," Gene said.

Paul watched Mandi leave and returned to his cup of coffee. Gene regarded him rather seriously.

"Can I trouble you for more coffee?" Gene asked him. Paul reached over and poured Gene a cup from the coffee pitcher. "Thanks," he nods.

"You've got something on your mind." Paul said finally.

"Yeah," he sighed. "Look man I'm sorry about implying your son isn't' good enough..."

"Gene, I know you don't have a problem with Elliott. Maybe I just can't understand because he's not a daughter, but certainly Jeannie can do much worse."

"I know... but she's had SO many crushes," he sighed. "I don't want to see her hurt."

"And besides, not like they are even going to bother asking us for permission. That went out with the Waltons," Paul laughed. "I just hope they are CAREFUL, and you know what I mean."

"Tradition," Gene hums gloomily, parodying Fiddler on the Roof.

"You can slap a condom in a kid's hand till kingdom come, but damn, all you can do is pray they use it," Paul commented.

"Well she always has them with her," Gene said. "But it's up to her if she uses them or not. It's just SUDDEN... I had no CLUE she had the hots for your son!"

"Or are you less worried about the physical and more worried about young love?" asked Paul.

"Young love," he said. "IT can screw with your mind. Jeannie's got a promising future. So does your son."

"He's always been quite taken with her, I know that. He's too damn shy to act on it though. Everything must have aligned just right tonight to make this happen," Paul said, staring into his cup.

"You WOULD say that. This is one of your frustrating philosophical times," Gene grumbled. "I don't want her to end up chasing some dream and ending up in Betty ford, or shoplifting... or DUI like Diana Ross. Or some other shit that kid celebs face."

"God, Gene, he's not THAT bad!" Paul chuckles.

"I mean Jeannie," he corrected Paul slowly. "The girl loves to experience things. I've been VERY hard on her... I try to give her freedom, but I temper it with common sense and a set of rules I insist be followed. To not use drugs, to be CAREFUL who she sleeps with..."

"I know you do, but if it's meant to be, my son will take care of her," Paul reassured him. "He's not going to have her run wild."

"Although she'd claim it's my fault for chasing her suitors away," Gene laughed ironically.

"And here she picks the likes of an EISEN. Well done, Gene" Paul smiled.

"It seems incestuous in a way," Gene grumbled. "I figured she thought of you like her uncle. Talk about KISSing cousins!"

"You know they're going to make up some kind of unbelievable lie tomorrow about what REALLY happened tonight, but I think we can figure what really happened."

"Yeah," Gene sighs gloomily. "And then I guess the question is, now what? I hope he doesn't get some half baked notion of moving out here... doesn't the kid need to finish his master's?"

"One thing about Elliott, he's not real experienced in the whole girlfriend scene and I'm afraid when he falls, he'll fall hard."

"I have to admit, I'm going to hit the roof if he doesn't complete his school," Paul said.

"I guess she'd better not break his heart huh?" Gene asks wryly. "I guess we'll have to lay it on the line. I mean Jeannie's already finished college, but she is thinking about going for a higher degree. She's got a great job working at a medical research center. God knows WHY, but it makes her happy. Despite the fact she's working on a musical and acting career on the side. But I do respect her choices, and they ARE responsible."

"It's not so much THAT, because let's face it, a broken heart is almost a guarantee at some point in his life. I just hate to see him decide to do something dumb and give up on what he's worked hard for... and Jeannie too."

Gene nodded, "Yeah."

"After all those checks I've written to NYU, I will go ballistic if he quits," Paul said firmly, clanging his cup down. "I KNOW it's his life, but hell..."

"All the checks I've written to Berkley... UCLA," Gene added. "West Coast girl meets East Coast boy."

"Yeah, imagine that," Paul chuckled.

"It's probably better they didn't live near each other. Absence makes the heart grow fonder... but if they HAD... we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"I could SEE him doing it, too," Paul said, looking at Gene. "If his heart isn't into it, he moves on. Gets that from his dad."

"What is he studying?" Gene asked. "Masters in WHAT?"

"It's like the guitar lessons...remember those? He was all up and arms and so was Karen that I HAD to pay for private guitar lessons.... So I get out my checkbook and pay. Next thing I know, he calls me and he's quitting. I ask why. He tells me the teacher's an asshole. I tell him to stick with it, because it doesn't MATTER what the teacher is like personally, as long as he's good. I give him this FIRST class lecture on tenacity. Next thing I know, he's quit anyway. He's decided he's going to teach himself."

"Paul, WHAT is he studying?" Gene asked again. "What kind of DEGREE?"

"He's studying music. Not sure what his master plan is. Teaching, I guess."

"Ironic. You know what Jeannie's degree is in?"

"No..."

"Biology!" Gene laughed.

"Was she a good student?"

"The best. Straight A's. Like her mother," Gene said proudly. Paul smiled.

"She's not sure if she wants to TEACH it, or go into research... so that's why she's doing this research internship at Cedars Sinai Medical Center."

"Ellliott's a good kid. He doesn't exactly apply himself as much as I would like," said Paul. "But if some day, he finds a nice group of kids to teach music to, I think he'd be great at that."

"Jeannie's a HARD worker," Gene acknowledged, finishing up his next cup of coffee. "She studies hard and plays heard. But she has taken voice, piano and guitar. "She's a natural."

"It's like I said before. I worry sometimes that maybe he's coasting because he knows daddy's money is lurking," Paul sighed. "Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe he'll prove me totally wrong."

"Guess who taught her how to play?" Gene asked.

"You. That's my guess."

"Yep," he smiled. "Guitar and bass. No classical music for her."

"I know you don't want to hear this, but I'd be honored to have my son date your daughter," Paul said.

Gene sighed and groaned at the irony, "You looking for my blessing or permission?"

"He IS a good kid, Gene," Paul chuckled. "They're going to do what they do anyway. It's just a matter of whether they'll tell us or not."

"He's not some religious nut is he?" Gene asked. "Considering that he was raised with his mom... and she pretty much did all she could to spite you..."

"Nah, not at all. As a matter of fact, his last girlfriend was and I know he struggled with that."

"Good," Gene sighed. "Although religion MIGHT be an issue... Considering what she is. And what he is. Where mommy Karen is concerned. I am assuming she raised him catholic and all that good stuff..."

"Karen, to her credit, did an awesome job with Elliott. And despite her loathing of me, I don't think she's told him TOO many awful things about me. He certainly still LIKES me."

"It's damn ironic," Gene wagged his finger. "Facing the same issues I was facing with Ray, and you were facing with Karen. History just repeats itself."

"Karen's problem is, I think she might have a problem cutting the apron string, if you know what I mean."

"Yep," Gene sighed.

"Elliott's pretty much all she has, not to mention that he's a part of me."

"Not that it matters... In the grand scheme..."

"Paul I hate to beat a dead horse, but I need to know the religion angle. Hell I'm not super concerned with what Jeannie believes as long as she's not forced into anything uncomfortable for her, that would screw with her head... or make her feel guilty for who she is..."

"She took him to Catholic church. He doesn't go anywhere now. At one point, he became very intrigued with Judaism, but he's not really fully embraced it."

"Jeannie has," Gene says. "I urged her to think WHAT she wanted to do. And she seems to think it's important... going to synagogue. It never mattered much to me, at least by the time you and I were musicians."

"Maybe that will be GOOD for him?" Paul wondered.

"But for some reason she embraced it. She goes as much as she can. Insisted on making Bat mitzvah... so I caved. Didn't have MUCH use for religion. I mean I wanted her to know where her ancestors came from... and her grandmother is VERY proud of how she's embraced her heritage. So I guess I can't complain."

"If she could drag Elliott, I think that would be wonderful."

"You know what else is ironic?" Gene asked, chuckling.

"You're not going to mention grandchildren are you?" he sighed.

"Ray converted," Gene said. "After she and I reestablished contact, about three years after Jeannie was born... she insisted on converting."

"Interesting. She never quite got over you, Gene. Just my observation."

"Yeah. Had no use for her own religion," said Gene. "So she chose mine. And she knows its more then a religion. For her she takes the whole thing seriously. She is VERY active."

"Sounds like she's done great so far, Gene. I don't think you have anything to worry about," Paul smiled. "The only thing we have to fear is "We're in love and we're having a baby."

"Said something about wanting her daughter to be fully Jewish in the eyes of conservatives as WELL as reforms. Like I'd know anything about that," Gene muttered.

"Next to that, everything else pales in comparison," Paul pointed out.

"But she DOES know how to read and write Hebrew," Gene smiled smugly.

"Elliott can read some. Karen would flip, but he can."

"Good for him," Gene smiled. "Can't be all that bad. The belief in the mysticism, I don't care for. But culture, I'm all for preserving it. Considering my family's all but nonexistent."

"I remember when he was born, Karen was so excited that he looked just like me. I'll bet it bugs the hell out of her now," said Paul. "At least she's out in California and she knows Nick and Soph. Elliott sees Evan maybe once or twice a year. It's sad."

"Yeah, best thing Ray did was give Jeannie to me," Gene nodded. "I gave her a home and a family. Something Ray couldn't."

"And unless someone does some FAST talking very soon, I'm done in the baby department," Paul added.

"I hope the hell she won't be," Gene said grimly. "Or heads are going to roll."

"You've always been there for Ray, time and time again."

"I love her," Gene mumbled softly. Not sure Paul could hear him.

"I know you do," he said softly. "And in a strange and sick way, I love Karen too. But we drive each other mad."

"It hurt like hell when Ray wouldn't be part of my life... I mean not in the way we had before. But after Cher, Diana Ross, and then meeting Shannon... I guess we both changed," said Gene. "But I still love her. Not in the way I love Shannon...but I still love her."

"And we're definitely not the same people we were at 21. We're much more jaded, sad to say. We've been around the block a few hundred times," Paul sighed.

"Yeah, some of us a few thousand," Gene laughed.

Paul smiled, "But in the end, it's just fluff. I mean it's a release."

"And WHAT a release..." Gene grinned.

"Speaking of release..." Paul smiled. "I'm not too sure Miss Julia is exactly having the time of her life with me these days."

"No," Gene asked. "I wonder why? She's got everything she could possibly want, right?"

"It seems that everything I do, it's wrong. I was hoping she'd hit it off really well with Elliott, and it would show her I'm willing to let her in to my inner circle," Paul commented. "Next thing I know, she's acting freaked out by him. And now she's sick."

"Maybe she's not over her ex?" Gene asked. "I mean you DID get together pretty fast."

"I think that's part of it, Gene. As hard as I try to make her forget him, sometimes the more I think I screw it up."

"Paul, she's a grown woman," Gene reminded him. "She needs time. If she is REALLY devoted, she'll come around."

"HOW much, though?" he throws up his hands, exasperated.

"Paul, you want it NOW," Gene laughed. "That's always been your problem. Instant gratification."

"Since when did you fail to appreciate THAT gene?" Paul cracked. "At first, she needs her space. No sex. OK, fine. I can deal with it. Then little by little, she's trusting me and it's going further and further until FINALLY we reach a point where we ought to be pretty damn trusting of each other, but..."

"But?" Gene asked.

"Gene, I know I can talk to you in confidence."

"Yeah, always," Gene nodded. "You know that."

"We finally made love the other night, only I'm not too sure it wasn't entirely by accident, if that makes any sense."

"Progress, hallelujah!" Gene threw up his hands.

"But in some stupid way, I feel like we're further apart than ever."

"Aww shit really?" Gene groaned. "Did this start BEFORE or after she saw your son?"

"You're right...hallelujah. This ought to be the Promised Land, so why is she walking around, looking like she lost her best friend?"

"After. I guess the Elliott thing was too soon. I just don't know anymore."

"Hmm," Gene mutters.

"Well it seems to me that it isn't so much she doesn't want to be part of Elliott's life," Paul regretted. "As much as she might be freaked by the age factor."

"He's a walking, talking carbon copy of you," Gene reminded him.

Paul paused a moment, "Maybe that's it. But there's not a damn thing I can do about that."

"Nope, and if she can't get over that, it isn't worth it," Gene emphasized, pouring more coffee.

"I guess I have no choice but to keep riding this roller coaster. I'm not sure I can go back to holding hands, Gene."

"I know. You shouldn't. Who can figure some women?" Gene shrugs.

"I sure as hell can't. That's pretty obvious," Paul snorted. "I mean one moment they want a ride, and the next they want space."

"OH boy you don't know about women?" Gene laughed. "Perish the thought!"

"Not when they keep changing the friggin' RULES," Paul complained.

"That's rule number one, that they can change the rules at any time," Gene laughed. "Because it's an ever changing landscape."

"At LEAST with Karen, at the end of the day, I could count on a hot meal and hot sex. I KNOW that sounds like a caveman talking, but she could take care of a man like no one else," he chuckled. "That's what was fun about back then. It was so...I don't know... uncomplicated."

"Or else..." Gene said, looking dark for a moment. "She's heard from her ex, and she's going back to him."

"Well, if that's the case, I guess I'll find out sooner or later," Paul said in alarm. "I hope for HER sake she isn't. I think I'm going to call her on it tonight, though. Find out why she's suddenly acting like I'm the enemy."

"Yes, you do that..." Gene said. "But maybe it's simpler..."

"And why I feel like I never truly know where I stand," Paul said.

"Maybe she needs time to think it through, and let you tie off some loose ends..." Gene suggested. "Because a lot of your past hit her right in the face just now. "Maybe she thinks you're still in love with Karen? That somehow you've got some fantasy about getting back with her..."

"I think you're right about Elliott. Maybe seeing the 51 year old man with a 26 year old son is getting to be a bit much," Paul sighed, eyes shut. "Honestly, Gene, I just don't know. How can I be in love with a woman I haven't spoken more than 5 sentences to in 28 years?"

"I still love Ray,' Gene said. "And if there was a chance I could get back with her, I'd go in a second."

"But Ray doesn't hate you."

"No. There is a thin line between hate and love, but there was a time when I swore she hated me," Gene remembered.

"Yeah, and I broke Karen's trust, and with Karen, you don't get a second chance. Look at her parents. Once she decided she was going to walk, there was no looking back."

"Yeah," Gene sighed. "I wish I knew what to tell you, Stanley. Other then just let Julia go. If she comes back... Aww shit I'm sounding sappy like some greeting card..."

"All I can do is see what I can get out of her. If it's not working for her, hell, maybe she does need some space."

"Well think about it this way," Gene said. "You HAVE been taking care of her. She's not used to that. Some women HATE being pampered."

Paul buried his face in his hands and laughed, "If it's over with us, I swear to God, I'm going to go out and get me some nice uncomplicated groupie fucks."

"Sounds good to me," Gene smiled. "But something tells me that isn't gonna cut it."

"Nah, but it sure will feel good" he teased.

"It didn't with Pam," Gene reminded him. "And it sure as shit won't help you get over Julia. If you ARE in love with her."

"Pam was a mess."

"Yeah. But Julia has a backbone. And she's not the sort who'll screw you out of money," said Gene. "She just wants you for who you are. What a concept."

"I'm just hoping she really DOES want me," asked Paul.

"I think she does," Gene said. "But you love the chase... And you DO have pressing business here."

"But I like to WIN every once in awhile," Paul pouted.

"You have so far. Just back off. And let her come to you for a change."

"What's on the docket tomorrow?" Paul sighed.

"Well we have several interviews..." Gene muttered. "You going back, or sticking around to see the kids a bit longer?"

"Damn I forgot," said Paul.

"But I want to make sure JEANNIE gets back safe and sound," Gene said. "The night is totally open."

"I guess we'll have to see what unfolds. Maybe we can pry the kids off each other long enough to treat us to dinner."

"I think so," Gene said. "And I think I should give my daughter a call tomorrow... she does have a cell phone... and I intend to have her make use of it."

"Why don't you call them and find out what they want to do? You're such a great planner of destiny," Paul teased.

"Hmm I will, smart ass," Gene said, whipping out his cell. He dialed Jeannie's number and waited.

"Shit... pick up..." he muttered. "She's turned it off... the little... grr..." he grumbles.

Paul laughed, "Now why in the WORLD would they want their PHONE off?" he said teasingly.

"Let's go before I decide to hunt down where your son lives..." Gene growled.

"Uh-oh," Paul laughed. "He's too YOUNG to be neutered."

"I have to go," Gene muttered, grabbing the check.

"Where to now?"

"I have a telephone interview," Gene said.

"So that leaves me with nothing to do," he sighed as he stood up, hands in pockets.

"Go spend time with your woman," Gene suggested. "Talk to her."

He sighed again, "I suppose."

"Paul, you're one to complain about HER keeping her distance..." Gene commented.

Paul shuts his eyes a minute, sighing, "I just wish I could figure out the answer to this damn situation so she can finally look at me without this big friggin' PROBLEM between us."

"Ask her," Gene suggested. "Or is that too direct for you?"

"I need to do something. God knows I surely don't want to be standing out here in the hotel cafe, talking to YOU about it all night."

"Glad to help," Gene said sarcastically. "Look Paul, Julia is a good girl. You just have to stop whining, and deal."

"You can fucking go do your interview. That's how you can help me," Paul glared at him.

"Paul... wait a minute," Gene said. "I'm sorry... that came out wrong..."

"What? You always have the damn answer to EVERYTHING, don't you?" he snapped.

"Okay I don't," said Gene, rising from the table. "But I think you have the answer to what you want. And you're just scared she's going to rip your heart out like every other woman you've loved."

"I need her to meet me halfway," Paul sighed as he fell into his seat.

"Yes you do," Gene nodded. "That's the answer."

"And if she's not willing to do that...." Paul mumbled.

"Then she's not worth it," Paul said.

"But you HAVE to let her get her shit sorted out first," Gene reminded him. "She has as many lose ends as you do. Seeing yours is making HER confront hers. She never DID say goodbye to Chad did she?"

"Nope. He just kicked her out and that was it,' said Paul

"Then we're getting somewhere. She needs closure. Before she can commit to you," Gene slugged him on the back. "Only when she's free of him in her mind can she really let you in."

"But how long am I supposed to wait?" he growled in frustration.

"Give her a week," Gene said. "You can wait a week, right? Give her an ultimatum tonight."

Paul smiled at him slowly. "I like it."

"Thought you would. Tell her to decide once and for all if she wants you. And give her a timeline. Tell her, 'I give you one week to sort out your affairs'"

"And that way, I'm not second place, waiting to see if I can slide into first or not," Paul nodded.

"Yes," Gene nodded. "That way you're in control. Only she doesn't realize it. And in the meanwhile you can sort out shit here. I think she WILL come around. When she realizes she could lose you."

"I think you're on to something. Besides, if she tells me to take a hike, there's always your mom," Paul teased.

"Yep,' he laughed. "Now WAIT! EXCUSE me! I'm NOT having YOU as a father."

"That would rock your fucking world, wouldn't it?" Paul laughed.

"Enough that your son is screwing my daughter, and I get you for a brother in law!"

"I'm TEASING. I'd never subject your mom to me," Paul laughed.

"I'll make you wear your balls for ornaments if you did," Gene mumbled. Paul laughed some more, then closed his eyes a bit. Suddenly the weight of his day hit him wearily.

"Well, now you know what to do," Gene said.

"Damn weather is really pissing off my hip," he muttered.

"And I am in your corner, on your side..." Gene reminded him. "Just remember we're here to work..."

"I appreciate that, Gene. Really, I do."

"I like Julia. She's a good woman. Good for you."

"I just need to find out if we have a mutual interest in making it work. If not..." Paul said, walking over to the elevator with Gene.

"Don't think of defeat," Gene encouraged him, stepping onto the car before him. "She might just come to her senses."

***

As they exited the elevator car he said, "Let me know what the kids want to do tomorrow. I'll try Elliott in the morning, if you have no luck."

"Thanks," Gene said, patting him on the back.

"I think I'm going to go face this monster, then head to bed. I'm suddenly feeling like crap," he groaned.

"See you later. And if you need to talk, you know where I am, Paul," Gene said.

"If it goes badly, you'll see me later. Count on it," Paul nodded.

Gene smiled, "Good luck..."

Paul parted company from his friend with a heavy sigh. Reaching his room, he slid the key card in the door and saw Julia up and about, packing her suitcases.

A look of alarm filled his face, and he said, "HEY, what do you think you're doing?"

"I figured I'd head back to LA," she said matter of factly. "I mean you've got a lot of work you have to do... and I feel like I'm just getting in the way..."

"So you're just going to LEAVE? Is THAT it?" Paul demanded.

"Paul, don't make this any harder then it already is," she turned, tears burning her eyes. "I HAVE to leave..."

"No you don't! You owe me an explanation, and you WILL listen to what I have to say, because I want to know WHERE I stand with you!"

"Don't ask me please... not now," she whispered. "Can't we just talk when you get back to LA?"

"No," Paul said firmly. "I want you to sit down, and talk to me. Tell me WHY you've been suddenly so distant from me! Is it because of my son? I want the truth now... for a whole week we've been in New York, and you've been enjoying it. We finally made love last night, and I thought things were going nicely. And as soon as my son shows up, you're a total stranger!"

"Paul, I had no idea you had an older son," she said.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I thought you'd be okay with it!" Paul threw up his hands in frustration. "What can I do to convince you it isn't an issue!"

"It is just moving so fast," she said. "I just can't... I need some time..."

"I had a feeling this whole thing was just a bit too much to handle all at once," Paul sighed. "I hope I wasn't WRONG, bringing my son around..."

"No, not at first..." she said. "But you don't' understand WHY I have a problem... it's not Elliott, it's me!"

"Excuse me?" Paul asked. "What is going on here?"

"Paul, please don't hate me for what I'm about to tell you..."

"Is it that I'm too old for you, is that it?" Paul asked. "Please tell me now..."

"Paul, I did a terrible thing," she blurted out. "I'm so ashamed..."

"Honey what..." Paul asked as she got up and paced the room, crying uncontrollably.

"Don't hate me, oh god please don't hate me..." she sobbed.

"I'm not sure I'm following..." he said, confusion in his eyes.

"Your son," she whispered. "When we went upstairs to play video games..."

"OK, so you played video games..." Paul asked.

"He looks so much like you did when you were that age," she babbled, zipping her suitcase. "So sweet, so innocent..."

"What are you saying?" Paul asked, voice cracking in anxiety.

"Seeing you two together, was like past and present... oh god... I did an AWFUL thing..." she stammered, putting on her coat and thrusting her feet into her shoes. He watches her with dark eyes, not liking where this is going.

"He kissed me," she says slowly. "And that's it. And then I felt horrible."

"He DID?" Paul gasped.

"Yes," she sobbed.

He sat stunned for a moment, falling onto the bed, and mumbled, "I thought he was with JEANNIE?"

"Yes... that was BEFORE she showed up!" she cried, throwing her suitcases by the door. "I was SO glad that Jeannie showed up... I'm so sorry, you must HATE me... and that's why I have to leave..."

"I'm not sure right now," he said quietly, not able to look at her.

"Maybe you do," he said, blinking hard for a moment.

"I've ruined whatever we could have had... I can see that in your eyes..." she whispered.

He stood up, and turned around on her, hurt in his eyes, "Elliott's a fucking KID, Julia. YOU should have known better."

"He's a grown man, and you're naturally reacting to protect your little boy," Julia said, taking a deep breath. "But you have to realize he will make his own mistakes..."

"How DARE you tell me how to raise my son..." he snapped.

"That's the problem, there's no way to fix this... I messed up, and because of the fact that I love you I had to tell you, or it would kill me," she said, wiping away her tears.

"Oh you couldn't TELL me BEFORE that you were attracted to him?" Paul yelled.

"It was all happening so fast. But does it matter now? I'll be leaving. I have been grateful for all you've done, but you're obviously furious at me, and I've spoiled everything, hurt you in ways I knew I eventually would. So I'll just be leaving... going out of your life as quickly as I came..."

"I tell half the world we're SERIOUS and you make me look like an IDIOT?" he yelled.

"It's better off I leave now," she said firmly, buttoning her coat and picking up her purse.

"What was this all ABOUT? You make me believe I can earn your love and then when I think I have, you yank it away?"

"I'm not worth it," she said firmly.

"No, you're not!" he said bitterly.

"You said it yourself," she said. "Goodbye Paul... I obviously don't deserve you... and for what it's worth I'm so sorry you can't imagine... but it doesn't make any difference now... even if I do love you."

He turned his back on her, head in his hands. Julia's face crumpled in hurt and she threw her shoulder bag over one shoulder, and grabbed the leash of her suitcase before tugging it out after her. As she walked down the hall she felt even more worthless then she had before she had met Paul. But she knew better then to beg and plead. She had to make a clean start and put this behind her. To not break any more hearts. For the sake of herself and her daughter it had to be this way.

The cab that she had called pulled up, and the driver helped her to put the luggage into the trunk. She glanced one time back at the hotel building, wiping away her tears before climbing in the cab. They pulled away from the Ritz Carlton, heading for JFK and the soonest flight back home. She prayed that she would have the strength to continue when she next got off the plane.

Back in the hotel room, Paul bitterly slammed the picture of them down on the nightstand. He switched off the lights of the room, and shed his clothes, exchanging them for a bathrobe. Grabbing the bottle of champagne he poured himself a glass and sank into the armchair by the large French doors that looked out onto the city lights. After sitting a time in the dark, he picked up the phone and called Christine, to tell her that Julia may or may not be coming back to the house. He got the answering machine message, and snorted with disgust.

Suddenly he saw an envelope he had not noticed before; placed by the large bouquet of flowers he had given her the other day. He ripped it open and looked at the note inside:

Dear Paul.

I thank you for what you have done. But what I have done now I cannot ask for forgiveness. So it's best I leave quietly as I came into your life.

I will always love you. But now I know I'm not worthy of that love.

Be happy and be strong. You have made a difference in my life.

Love

Julia

Angrily he crumbled the note and threw it to the ground, very frustrated. Half of him hated what she had done; the other half felt guilt as to the journey he had suddenly forced her to walk. "Damn," he cursed. He leaned over to pick up the phone and dialed her cell, only to hear a ringing noise coming from the nightstand drawer. Tugging open the drawer he notices the cell phone he had given her contained inside. Angrily he hurled it against the wall, and seized his shaving kit. After downing a pain pill he lay down in bed and curled up under the covers.