Disclaimer: Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons and KISS are actual persons, and they are property of themselves. The portrayal of them in this story is fictitious, and is the work of a fan, for entertainment purposes only, not to demean or harm the people mentioned. Other characters are copyright by Trynia Merin. My thanks to Eisencookie, Ms Starchild and Ilovepaul66 for help with this story!

The Porsche pulled up under the awning of the Sunset Cafe, and she marveled as the valet immediately strode out to open the door for her. Paul handed him the keys, and climbed out to walk around the car and take her hand. He handed a folded bill to the valet, and tossed his head to indicate they should go into the glass fronted doors.

"Mr. Stanley, I've got your table ready," the matre D said, the moment Paul stepped inside, with Julia on his arm.

"Thanks," he nodded. He shed his coat, and held out his hand for Julia. She realized he was indicating she should take hers off as well, and he handed both to the coat check girl who had a window nearby the stand for the matre D. A waiter was summoned with the snap of his fingers, and Paul and Julia followed the young man toward a far corner of the restaurant.

"Private table for you and your party, Mr. Stanley. If there is anything you need, don't hesitate to ask. Here is the wine list... I'll come back for your orders. The specials tonight are swordfish, in season, grilled salmon, filet mignion, London broil... and for appetizers we have a variety of soups and salads... my name is Robert, and it's my job to make your dining experience here one to remember..."

"Sounds good," Paul nodded. "What would you like to start out with Julia? Some wine to go with dinner? I think if it's fish you like we can try a nice pinot... and if it's beef... a good Chardonnay..."

"Wow, sounds like quite a choice. But if you don't mind I'd LOVE a white Russian..."

"All right then," Paul said. "I'll have a bottle of Pinot, and the lady will have a white Russian..."

"Terrific, I'll bring your drinks in a few minutes..." Robert nodded, eager to please. He was probably expecting a huge tip. She deigned to look at the menu, only to notice no prices listed.

"Yikes," she whispered.

"What's wrong, baby?" he asked, reaching across to take her hand. A fireplace near their table blazed with a steady flame, vented by a copper duct that passed into the raftered ceiling.

"I've never been to a place like this where they don't' list the price, but I've heard about it,' she whispered. "I bet they don't' want the clients to be reminded that a steak is the price of two day's salary..."

"I've got it covered," he smiled. "And do one thing for me... don't let money get in the way of us enjoying dinner together..."

"I'll try not to," she promised.

"Good,' he said, pressing her hand. "Ah, our drinks are here..."

She took the white Russian, while Paul rested his hand on the stem of his wineglass. Wrapped in a white cloth, the bottle of wine was set to one site, while the waiter held the cork to Paul's nose for him to sniff the wine. Then he nodded that Robert should pour some into the glass for him to taste.

"Do you know what you want yet?" Paul asked Julia when Robert held out his notebook to take their orders.

"Grilled salmon sounds wonderful," she said. "And can I start with a Cesar salad?"

"Of course ma'am, and you sir..."

"Make that two," Paul nodded. He picked up his glass and clinked it to Julia's. Both of them sampled their drinks while the waiter moved off amongst the other tables. She noticed other well-dressed people here, some of which she actually recognized from the plastic surgery place she worked. One man at a table was a former client, who she remembered getting polyethylene wrinkle implant reducers, and his lady accompanying him had a set of perfect hemispherical breasts she could swear were silicone. Everyone here seemed to be so perfect that her trained eyes could see him or her in terms of nips and tucks.

The thought of it shivered her for the first time. Realizing she and possibly the young waiters and waitresses were the few who weren't enhanced by the miracles of modern Beverly Hills plastic surgery. Or the work of a good spa and tanning salon. Julia tipped back another sip of white Russian letting the creamy beverage slide down her throat.

"Paul, would you excuse me a moment, I have to powder my nose..."

"Of course," he said. "Don't keep me waiting long..."

"Of course not," she whispered, leaning down to kiss his cheek. Paul caught her wrist and touched her lips instead, making the kiss last a least a minute. The look of delight on her face gladdened him as he watched her walk back towards the ladies room.

As she passed another table, she noticed someone familiar looking sitting there, opposite a young size 2 Asian model. Her blood froze when she heard that familiar laugh, and his words to her.

"Yep, I threw her stuff out into the street, all right. The bitch is going to learn you don't' mess with Chad!"

"What a looser," laughed the woman sitting opposite him.

"I should have ditched her fat ass sooner I tell you. And that little rugrat too. She keeps her hidden all right, but all I have to do is let her sugar daddy know, and it's curtains..."

"Her rugrat?"

"I didn't tell you she has a kid," Chad slurred, obviously drunk.

Julia rushed to the bathroom, slamming the door as she breathed heavily in and out. Tears flowed down her cheeks, and she found it difficult to keep her mascara from smudging. She saw the door about to open and quickly ducked into a stall to do her business. As she was about to exit, she heard two women laughing nearby at the sinks.

"Paul Stanley is here, can you believe it?"

"He's the biggest celeb to walk through those doors in a week..." the second voice chirped.

"I know... let's ask him for his autograph!"

"But he has a girl with him... what if she gets jealous?"

"Who is she, his new girlfriend?" the first voice said in a hushed whisper.

"I dunno but she looks like a singer or a model. She's beautiful, as usual..."

"And blonde... well dirty blonde," said the first voice. "Let's go quickly and see if he notices she's gone..."

Julia sat in the ladies room sighing, almost afraid to come out. Instead, she sat there for the next fifteen minutes, glancing through the items in her small pocketbook till the girls left. She heard others coming in and out and finally decided it was prudent to exit. The food was probably there already.

She had to pass Chad's table, so she put on a pair of sunglasses Paul had given her to wear over to the restaurant. She held a hand by her face to partly conceal it as she passed the table. Chad was there with his back to her, and he continued to laugh and talk aloud while keeping the singular attention of his date. Ducking behind a decorative panel she overhead part of his conversation again.

"So I'm telling you this sugar pie, Paul and Gene better hire me back or else... it's the full expose on how many nips and tucks made that pretty boy presentable..."

"Like as many Cher has?' she giggled. "So what? Everyone who is ANYONE in Hollywood does it..."

"True, but pretty boy's sensitive about his looks you know?" Chad laughed. "Too bad the bitch wouldn't do a little nip and tuck on her fat ass and stomach... after that baby..."

"Chad you say the FUNNIEST things..."

Disgust filled her, and she rushed off to find Paul's table. He was signing autographs for two women when he glanced up and saw her sitting down suddenly.

"Thank you Paul, we LOVE you!" the women said, as the waiter escorted them away from his table.

"These two bothering you Mr. Stanley?" Robert asked.

"No, just a few fans...ah Julia, just in time, our food's here..."

"Paul..." she got out. Two salads had been placed before them, and Julia pushed her plate away as Paul dug into his.

"What's wrong?" he asked, as she sat there, panting with her hands at her sides. "Isn't it how you wanted? If not I'll get the waiter to bring you something else..."

"Uh... there are too many anchovies on this," she muttered.

"Okay, no problem... WAITER! Julia wants something else..." Paul waved to Robert. Embarrassed Julia watched Paul whisper something to him and point to her salad.

"I'm TERRIBLY sorry," the waiter gasped. "You want anything else?"

"Just... some water," she said. "I'm not that hungry..."

"Julia?" Paul asked. "You sure..."

"I'm... waiting for dinner," she lied.

"Oh okay," Paul smiled. "Do you want another drink..."

She nodded, feeling her heart pounding as she heard the sound of Chad's laugh from behind the decorative partition. Paul glanced at her with concerned dark eyes, and she was unable to meet his gaze. He said, "Julia, are you okay?"

"I'm... fine..." she muttered. "I'm just... thinking about trying to find a job..."

"Don't you worry about that. I'm sure there are many offices in Beverly Hills that would kill to have you help them out..." Paul smiled. Julia managed a fake smile and took the drink that Robert brought her.

"I'm sure,' she nodded.

"I was talking to some of my friends today at About Face," Paul said. "They said there were a few positions open at St. Jude's center for Children's surgery... and I gave them your number..."

"Thank you," she said.

"So it's okay I did that?" Paul asked, finishing his salad and pushing his plate away.

"Yes," she agreed, nodding quickly.

The waiter brought out dinner that moment, and he set down the folding stand before he placed the huge tray laden with their dinners onto it. He set one plate before Julia, saying, "A grilled salmon, rice pilaf and garnish of steamed vegetables for the lady, and for the gentleman, swordfish with red skinned potatoes and sautéed vegetables..."

"Oh Julia you ARE in luck... you're going to love this, "Paul smiled at her, rubbing his hands together. Sighing, she looked at her plate and smiled weakly at the waiter.

"Bon appetite," he smiled and placed another drink at her elbow. "Anything else?"

"No, this looks GREAT," Paul smiled. "I'll let you know..."

It all looked so perfect and artistically arranged on the plate, she thought. Paul seemed to be waiting for something, and she glanced over at him with that same fake smile. He picked up his knife and fork, and she said, "Uh, you first..."

"Well, let's dig in," he urged. "Go on, I want to know how that tastes..."

"I'm afraid if I do take a bite I'll ruin a work of art," she joked, picking up her fork and knife in a halfhearted attempt to cut a piece. Again she heard Chad's laughter, and cringed. Her appetite suddenly turned sour, and she sighed again, putting down her utensils. Paul already had cut off a piece of his swordfish and was enjoying every morsel of food. Julia bravely picked at the dinner, just taking a small bite and nibbling on it.

"Well?"

"It's... terrific," she said quickly, putting down her fork suddenly. Paul had started his entrees and clearly was watching her carefully. Unable again to meet his gaze, she glanced nervously around the restaurant at the other dining patrons. Why did she feel like she was sitting in a very large and uncomfortable fishbowl all of a sudden? Seeing her hesitation, Paul raised an eyebrow and she picked up her fork again, slowly moving her vegetables around on her plate nervously.

"You're awfully quiet baby," he said breaking the silence. "Isn't it what you wanted?"

Over his shoulder, she noticed Chad rise from his table, and stagger to his feet. The girl next to him slowly helped him up, and he leaned on her. Her pulse pounded and she felt her hand shaking nervously as he slowly turned around. She shoved her fork off her table and said, "Whoops, I dropped my fork..." ducking out of site.

"Hey, don't' worry, just leave it, baby,' Paul urged. "The waiter will bring you another..."

"No it's okay," she said, and then glanced up to see Chad approaching their table. Nervously she brushed her hand against her drink glass, upsetting it all over her as she moved up into her seat again.

"Aww shit," she whispered.

"Here, let me help you," Paul urged, getting up to grab his napkin and help her. She saw Chad glancing around in confusion at the sound of Paul's voice and she desperately glanced at her plate. As Paul reached across to sponge her off, she flailed her hand against her plate, sending her dinner flying onto the floor.

"Shit, I spilled it," she cried, and got to the floor. Paul ducked down instinctively as she began to scoop the upset high priced meal off the carpet.

Chad walked by their table, and didn't even notice. He turned around and said, "Damn, forgot my car keys...."

"Then hell let's get 'em," his date slurred, as they turned to walk back to their table.

"I also forgot... dessert..." Chad laughed. "Let's sit back down and GET some damn it... I'm paying enough frickin money for the meal..."

"Julia, honey don't WORRY," Paul said, as she made a vain attempt to clean up the spilled fish and rice that had scattered everywhere.

"Shit, I am a mess, I embarrassed you in front of everyone," she cried, the tears of shame blurring her vision. "And now I upset this expensive meal... I just can't do anything right!"

"Julia it's OKAY!" Paul urged, getting up and dabbing her front off with his napkin. "I'll get you another... It's..."

"No it's not okay!" she sobbed, seeing Chad over at the table in the corner with his date. "I need to leave... NOW!"

Grabbing her purse, she rushed out of the restaurant, leaving an astonished Paul half-kneeling with a napkin in his hand. Nonplussed, he got up and rushed after her, calling her name. She reached the front and didn't' even stop for her coat as she rushed out the front and stood in the street, crying. She began to run halfway down the sidewalk before she realized how stupid this all was.

"Julia!" Paul called, feet pounding the pavement as he reached her side. "What on EARTH..."

"Just take me home, please... I can't..."

"Julia, it's not the end of the world..." Paul said, stroking her back. "I told the waiter, and he's ordering you a new dinner... and they're cleaning it up now... why did you run away?"

"I messed up our dinner," she sobbed into her hand. "And now it's ruined and the night is ruined..."

"No it isn't!" Paul urged. "Julia, why don't' we just take deep breaths and calm down and go back in there and enjoy our dinner..."

"I can't go back in there, Paul!" she sobbed.

"Why not... it's no..."

"Because CHAD is in there, that's why!" she blurted out. "At the next table..."

"WHAT?" Paul asked. "Where?"

"He's there with his date, and I couldn't stand seeing them there..."

"If he's there, so what? I'll have him thrown out," Paul said with a laugh.

"No, you won't!" she stamped her foot. "I want to go home now... I can't stand being in this place a minute longer with HIM there!"

"Julia..." Paul got out. "You're out here without a coat... and you haven't eaten a thing... won't you at least please... forget he's there... it's not..."

"No!" she cried. "Look if you won't drive me home I'll find a taxi..."

She broke away from him, running towards the street corner. Paul rushed after her, almost tearing his hair in frustration. What had gotten into her? Why didn't she see it was all right, that she hadn't embarrassed him, and things like this happened? Besides, she might have seen someone who LOOKED like Chad but wasn't...

"Julia... please... just be reasonable," Paul urged, catching up with her. "You're shivering and it's cold..."

"I need to go home, I need to get out of here... I embarrassed you..."

"You didn't, Julia," Paul said, turning her around and taking her face in his hands. "You're acting all crazy now letting him get to you. So, what if he's in there? I'll just go back and settle the bill and we can continue dinner someplace else if you want..."

"I just want to go home," she whined. "Please, can't you take me home..."

"All right, I'll take you home," Paul sighed. "C'mon... I'll get you your coat..."

Miserably Julia let him lead her back towards the restaurant to get their things. She waited out in the lobby while Paul settled the bill and asked for their coats back. He draped hers over her shoulders and she suddenly felt the weight of it hanging her down as never before. Then he led her to retrieve his car from valet parking. He opened the door and waited for her to climb in before getting in himself and starting the engine to leave.

***

After riding in silence for a few minutes Paul joked, "Well that was the shortest dinner I've ever had there..."

"Paul I'm sorry I ruined it, okay?" she held up her hand.

"You didn't ruin it, for the last time," Paul told her. "Why didn't you tell me you saw Chad there... we could have gone someplace else..."

"I don't know..." she continued to sob, wiping away the black streaks of mascara that were running down her face in small rivers. She must look awful, with her hair falling out of the elaborate hairstyle she had coifed it into.

"Julia... honey please don't cry," Paul pleaded. "What can I do to convince you it's okay..."

"I'm a disappointment," she wiped tears from her eyes. "I don't see why you'd want to take me anywhere..."

"Now I know you're talking nonsense," Paul shook his head. "I wanted to take you here tonight so you could relax and enjoy yourself... not beat yourself up..."

She said nothing to this, but continued to cry. Paul sighed again, and drove back towards his apartment. This wasn't what he'd had in mind at all. Not at all. Dark eyes brooded as he thought about how angry he was at this Chad for ruining what could have been a nice romantic evening.

"I can't enjoy myself when he's there..." she sighed. "And I wanted to thank you for taking me there... I just..."

"Honey, please let's just not worry about it okay?" Paul sighed back. "What's done is done... and are you SURE you don't' want to stop somewhere else for dinner?"

"You probably paid a fortune for it too," she said, glancing out the side passenger window. Rain had started to pitter-patter against it, and she saw the orange blur of the sodium street lamps as they reached the next stoplight.

"Julia, what is REALLY going on here?" Paul asked. "I wish you'd tell me how I can help..."

"There are just some things you can't fix Paul," she said somberly. "And my ex is one of them..."

"Julia, Julia," he sighed. "I guess I should have asked where you wanted to go tonight... because I hate to see you so upset... if there is some place you would love to go, just tell me... I'm sure some of the clubs are open, and there might be a comedy act... or a late night movie..."

"Just take me home. I just want a hot bath, and to go straight to bed," she sighed.

"If that's what you want..." Paul sighed, voice trailing off. "I just thought you said you'd not let money get in the way of tonight..."

"Please don't say anything else Paul," she begged as they pulled into the driveway of his apartment. Before he could get out to open the door, she got out and rushed toward the front door. Paul secured the car and rushed after her, reaching there as she got it unlocked.

"Julia I didn't mean that..." Paul apologized. "Please, cant' we just talk about this? I can light a fire, get some wine and we can have a nice quiet dinner here... watch a movie, and talk..."

"I've said enough," she sobbed, running upstairs. "I'm going to bed, I'll just leave you before I make this night any worse for you... because I've obviously screwed it up royally...'

"You didn't!" Paul cried. "Why won't you believe me? Julia!"

So much for a romantic evening, he sighed to himself. As he heard the door to her room slam, he sighed in frustration. Throwing down his coat he muttered, "Damn it Paul!"

Julia tossed and turned in her sleep; a tear running down her face when she thought of Paul's hurt words pursuing her like birds. She wished she could make it up to him, because he had tried to simply help her forget about her troubles. How could she?

Because she was at the KISS concert that night and she felt herself ushered backstage by road crews. Despite her protests she found herself wearing a VIP pass, and dressed very differently then the outfits she would normally wear. Was that makeup she wore, as she passed the mirror in the cramped backstage hall?

"He wants to see you, miss," said a tall and beefy road security member, standing near her with his hand on her shoulder.

"Who?"

"The starchild," he said. "Right this way..."

She was hustled with a group of other groupies, and ended up being pushed into a small greenroom. Excitedly the girls in the chicken coop pushed and shoved as they were ushered in and told to wait. How had she gotten here, Julia wondered? It wasn't something she would do in her wildest dreams.

Finally, they entered, in glittering silver and whiteface. Julia's pulse pounded when the Starchild caught sight of her, and pointed with one finger, beckoning her to join him. Gene had picked two girls in demon and cat makeup, while Ace seized a blonde slender chick, and Peter a red head. Paul strode up on seven-inch platforms and smiled sweetly at Julia.

"Nice makeup baby," he grinned. "Why don't' we go someplace private..."

"You want me?" she whispered.

"I want you," he whispered back, kissing her cheek as his arm curled around her waist and he led her out with the other members of KISS and their chosen groupies. Paul lead her down the dark cramped corridors to a door with a star marked on it in fading gilded paint. He opened it and urged her before him.

"You want me after I embarrassed you in the restaurant?"

"What restaurant?" he chuckled, closing the door to the dressing room and locking it. He turned as she backed away in shock and surprise.

"Now let's say we get up close and personal..." he said, shaking his finger at her and driving a bolt of desire through her. His curly hair crackled with raw sexual energy, his hairy chest rippling with muscle beneath it.

"Show me what you've got, and we'll get HOT!" Paul Stanley ordered in his onstage banter, something she could neither resist nor deny.

Gasping, Julia felt her pulse pounding in double time. Paul licked his middle finger, and backed her up against the wall. Rhinestones glittered like an exploded galaxy on his Destroyer costume, and she realized the shape of his face was smooth and rounded with youth.

"Oh god," she whispered.

"Do you LOVE me baby?" he purred, pinning her to the wall with his marvelous muscular body. He traced a finger over her breasts, curving beneath the rhinestone babydoll T, which she KNEW in real life, didn't come in her size.

"Oh GOD yes," she whispered.

"Take it off then," he laughed, reaching down and pulling her T shirt up over her head in one fluid motion, then massaging her breasts with the downward stroke to her belly. He grabbed her sturdy belt and unbuckled it fast, yanking her jeans down in a rapid fashion. Her bra and underwear soon vanished as well, till she was naked as a newborn before him.

"OH lord," she whimpered as he kissed each breast, then worked down to her bellybutton with soft and firm kisses alternating. Those marvelous hands caressed every inch of bare skin, one of them teasing her hot wet interior.

She buried her face in his tangle of curls, teased up with a million pounds of aqua net hairspray, as he laughed with pleasure. He loved teasing her, kneeling on one knee before her; he still came to her shoulder.

When she could hardly stand it any longer, he stood up again, and smiled, those red lips twisting in a mischievous look worthy of Gene. "Nobody will hear you baby," he whispered, finger still holding her at bay. "So make any noise you want and shout it out loud for your Star-child..."

He grabbed her hand and thrust it down the front of his spandex, and she shrieked in shock and fear at the revelation she was feeling bare skin. Dark eyes twinkled with challenge, moving her wrist up and down, urging her to feel his love gun up and personal. He leaned close to her ear and whispered, "Play with it baby... make me WILD..."

"Oh god," she whispered. When he was sufficiently excited he turned her around so she faced the wall. She felt him pull back long enough to tug down his tights and then bend her over, ordering her to brace her hands against the wall while he teased her from behind with his lovegun. Grasping the front of her hips he plunged in, causing a cry of ecstasy mingled with sudden fear. As he began to thrust into her, his hands walked up her sides to cup her breasts, rubbing them in the same motion as his thrusts. Her knees shook, barely supporting her weight as Paul continued to ravish her deliciously. She wasn't afraid, as he pounded faster and more furiously until...

***

Julia cried out, sitting bold upright in bed. Sweat soaked her entire body, and she realized the tingling between her legs was only the result of an intense erotic dream. Why did she always wake up seconds before she climaxed? It was incredibly frustrating! Sighing she got up and made her way to the ladies room.

It was dark when she emerged from the hall bathroom, and it was rather disorienting. Stumbling to find the hall light, she tried to remember how far she was down from the other rooms. Finally finding the knob she opened it and stepped inside. Why did the distance from door to bed seem different?

Finally she found the bed, and sat on it, fumbling for the cover. Swinging into bed, she slid underneath and lay on her side, then threw her robe down on the floor. Sighing, she settled with her head on the pillow, and struggled to lie calmly so she could resume her dream.

She didn't know if she was asleep or dreaming when a muscular arm fell across her, and a male's breathing sounded heavy and sweet in her ear. The strong arm pulled her close to a well-muscled solid male body, which nestled into hers, soft kisses raining on her neck. Moaning, she turned over, realizing what a delicious dream this was.

Soft lips sought those in the dark, and she pulled him down with passion. His tongue teased her mouth open, tasting her sweetness as the body pinned her under him. A muscular leg slid over hers, and a hand sought the curve of her breast, rubbing it with a precision, few men could master.

Suddenly it dawned on her that she was in fact awake, and not dreaming, and there was a real man who was the source of these passionate sweet kisses. Twisting out of his grasp, she gave a cry of alarm. Lights blinded her as they turned on, and she saw who was occupying the bed.

"Baby, if you wanted me, why didn't you ask?" he gasped.

Big wide eyes glanced into hers, a look of utter surprise and confusion on his face as she yelled, "What are you doing in my bed!"

"Whoa, now WAIT a minute! This is MY bed!" Paul assured her. She leapt out, hugging the covers around her, yanking them off to reveal him in nothing but boxer shorts.

"Oh god, oh god I almost..." she groaned, flaming with embarrassment. "I'm so sorry..."

"Julia! What did you... how did you..." he stammered, still half asleep.

"Oh GOD... what happened!" she gasped. "I thought this was MY bed, my room..."

Paul watched her in shock for a moment, then broke into a slow smile, "Yours is the second room on the right. Mine's the third..."

"Oh GOD, I'm so sorry..." she cried, hands over her mouth in shock.

"Big house" he winked, losing his look of momentary vulnerability, which was replaced with the cool Star-child persona of a cultured macho man. "Hey, don't be. Look, sweetheart, just relax..."

"I oh god... I almost... oh my god..."

"You're not the first person to get lost in here. I wandered the hallway like a complete idiot when I first moved here," he teased. "Besides, you know where you are now. Your room is just next door. No harm done. Honest."

"I was going to the bathroom and I got lost..." she cried, throwing the covers over him and grabbing her robe, holding it over her front.

He couldn't help but admire her discreetly in that split second, her sheer pink nightgown hiding the most interesting parts, yet there was much to be said for imagination, Paul though. He had seen her, come to think of it in her two piece bathing suit when they had gone swimming together in his pool.

"Hey, why would I complain when a pretty woman accidentally shares my bed? If you'd prefer, you can sleep in here tonight and I'll take the guestroom. I've got a private bath off this room," he offered, trying to soothe her.

"I'll... just go back to bed..." she stammered, backing away. He regarded her with slight amusement, still trying to calm her down.

She gasped, "If you're sure... I don't mind taking the smaller room. Really. Before this gets any MORE embarrassing..."

"Don't sweat it," he winked. "I've already forgotten it."

Paul sprang out of bed, walking toward her. He fell headlong across the bed when his foot snagged in the blankets. She backed into the dresser, slamming her hip with a thud, and collapsing on the floor.

"OWW!" she cried. Paul scrambled for his robe, and threw it on, going over and offering her his hand to help her up.

"Take my room, please," he urged, pulling her up to her feet. "Nice big bed and no place to wander."

"No I can't," she protested, stumbling to her feet and heading toward the door.

He watched her a moment with dark eyes, saying softly, "I'm making it worse, aren't I?"

"I've disturbed your sleep..." she stammered, not making eye contact with him. "And I just... "

"I don't sleep that soundly anyway....too used to all those years on the road and all those strange hotel noises." he joked, still holding her hand. "Besides, I'd rather you roam in here than accidentally down the stairs."

"God Paul, I can't take your room... I wanted to apologize..."

"Julia, really, there's no need. I know you didn't do it on purpose, and even if you DID, there's still no need to apologize' he smiled.

"I just guess I'm a bit... flighty lately," she groaned.

"You're welcome to stay here if you like. I must have 300 channels on this TV," he offered, guiding her to sit down on the edge of the bed. "And I'm not particularly sleepy."

"I just couldn't presume to sleep in your room," she said. "But I'm sorry to keep you awake..."

"And I don't find you flighty at all. I just find you to be a very attractive woman who just got herself out of a very tight mess in her personal life."

"Trust me. When all hope is lost, sometimes the best thing to do is cut the ties," Paul sighed, patting her hand. "I wish I had done that a LONG time ago... Once you've done all you can.....well.....it becomes an exercise in futility. This coming from a guy whose parents have been married for almost 60 years."

"I suppose you were wondering why... I wasn't here on Sunday..." she fumbled, remembering he was a bit worried when she hadn't joined him for lunch. She traced the bedspread with a finger.

"You don't need to answer to me," he interrupted her softly.

"I saw you in the park with your son... and I KNOW you saw me with a little girl..." she began slowly.

"You don't have to tell me," he said, putting a finger over her lips to silence her. "I've not always made the best choices in life, Julia, so far be it for me or anyone else to judge you. I'm just glad you're safe and that you agreed to stay here" he says, leaning down to kiss her, then pulling back.

"Because she told me all about the boy who helped push her on the swings..." she said with tears in her eyes, turning away.

"And you're afraid that...what.....I'll find out you have a daughter?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Or that somehow I'll be mad?"

"Yes, but I was scared you'd think I was a bad mother," she stammered. "Because she lives with her father and NOT me."

"Hell, she's welcome to stay here too if you like. It's been quite awhile since I've had a little one here full time."

"It's complicated..." she stammered, as Paul wiped away her tears with one finger.

"Oh...." he said slowly. "Hopefully someone better then that asshole."

"You see... the father wasn't Chad..." she sighed. "He was a professor I momentarily was involved with at school getting my aesthetician license. He was going through a separation... and he and I got a bit drunk and had sex... In a moment of weakness... stupid. But he told me he'd take responsibility..."

He leaned over to rub her back slightly. She jumps a bit at his touch under the thin silk, and he whispered, "Sounds like he did at least keep his word."

"And then he suggested since I was still paying off loans..." she continued, voice breaking with emotion. "That he could take care of her when I couldn't, till I got on my feet. He got back with his ex wife, and they've been raising her as their own. They let me have visitation every weekend."

"God, that's tough" he sighed sympathetically, unsure of what to say. "But I can relate to how difficult visitation is."

"It's so silly, but THAT is why I was with Chad to begin with..." she admitted sheepishly. "I thought if I had a father for the child I could take her back..."

"Hey it happens to the best of us. Because no matter what you try to tell yourself, it's hard seeing your flesh and blood only on occasion. But then again, my ex-wife used to blame that on our problems....my job, my travelling, my career. The whole bit. MY fault 100%." he smiled ruefully.

"It's so stupid, because Chad told me a few months ago he didn't WANT kids..." she rolled her eyes. "I was furious."

"And you certainly don't want a maniac like that raising your little girl," Paul said, kissing the back of her hand. With the other he rubbed her back softly.

"No. I'd rather leave her with her father and stepmother," she shook her head, closing her eyes. "But I love my child. she KNOWS I'm her mommy. I just was trying to pay off my loans with this new job, and now I can't... because I just found out I was fired..."

"It sounds like at least you have a good working arrangement," he said. "Remember what I told you? If you want me to, I can find you something."

"I would... appreciate it..." she said slowly. "I could work as a nurse... I have my license. Not just as an aesthetician. I could even help you... if you need any... work done... I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that."

"Actually, I'm glad you did," he smiled. "If we were touring full time, there'd be plenty of things to do there...not sure any of them would keep you terribly entertained, but it would keep you busy anyway."

"I do botox shots." she said shyly. "When I worked for the plastic surgeon. When I wasn't working at the spa doing facials..."

"I know you do" he grinned. "And very painlessly I might add. I'm actually looking for a personal assistant, you know."

"What sort of personal assistant?" she asked. "You need someone to help you do hair and makeup?"

"Not that kind, love. Actually more of the clerical kind. Ever heard of a company called Simstan Records, Miss Kiss fan?"

"I hate clerical work," she said with a hint of pride, folding her arms across her chest. "I'm sorry, it won't work."

"Rats, than that's out." he sighed. "But it could lead to something better..."

"I'm sorry. but I'm a nurse. Not a secretary."

"You're right, you're right" he said, throwing his hands up. "Just a suggestion, and a hope of mine, to keep you close."

"I could work as a nurse on the tour," she said suddenly. "First aid and all."

"Maybe.....maybe I could talk to Gene about possibly working something out as far as some of the duties you've talked about," he bit his lip, then took her hand. "Julia, let me ask you something....."

"What?" she asked, a bit nervous that she's hurt his feelings.

"Being out on the road can be a little...uhhhh....daunting, if you're not used to that sort of life."

"I have no clue," she laughed. "but I do remember working as an assistant to a nurse at camp years ago, one of my first jobs out of nursing school...

"We can be a little harsh on each other" he chuckled. "Four letter words, screaming, the whole nine yards. Neither Gene nor I take kindly to mistakes on tour. And you have to understand, it's quite a nomadic life. And it's entirely possible that by the time the tour ends, you will positively hate me."

"But my daughter," she asked. "How will I see her when I'm on the road?"

"That's an issue, no doubt. But at first, it will probably be short mini-trips. We're headed to Japan before long, not many shows."

She rose slowly from the bed, hugging herself, and said, "I don't think this would work. I'm sorry to trouble you..."

"You could be back before you missed too many visitations...and you could find out if you hate the lifestyle....or love it," he said quickly.

"I can't Paul," she says slowly. Biting her lip she started to cry, turning her back to him.

"It's only for a week, Julia," he said. "Have you ever even seen Japan before? It's beautiful. From a purely selfish standpoint, it's been a long time since I've had someone on tour with me to show the local sights."

"It sounds wonderful, but it's just me running away," she sighed, looking up at the ceiling.

"Look at it as a vacation....." he pressed. "Unless you'd just rather I left you alone..."

"From what?" she asked. "Paul, I know you're trying and I appreciate it... But I don't know WHY everything is telling me I shouldn't... You've been nothing but wonderful... what's wrong with me wanting to push you away? Why am I?"

"I didn't mean to tell you what to do." he said softly, "I get the impression sometimes that I'm hurting more than helping, and that was never my intention."

"I know... I'm sorry..." She started to cry. "I just don't know what's WRONG with me!"

"I still think you should stay here. I'll just move to the room next door."

"That's ridiculous and you know it," she stamped her foot in frustration and weariness.

"I think.....that you need space, and quite honestly, I'm doing my dandiest to be a gentlemen about it. In actuality, it's killing me, because to be truthful, I think I'm really starting to like you."

"I think maybe... I should just... leave tomorrow first thing..." she said retreating. "Go stay with Molly or Cheryl. It's not fair to you... To be with a woman who's not worth..."

"Nah, I'm not here enough," he said as he turned his back to her, "You stay here. I won't bother you anymore. No sense in this big house going to waste."

"No..." she said, watching him as she edged toward the door. He tied the belt on his robe and walked across the room. He entered his walk-in closet and grabs some slippers.

"I'll just go to bed and leave you alone..." came his voice. Quickly she darted out of his room and raced down the hall. Reaching it, she closed her door and locked it.

"Night, Julia..." he said, emerging from the closet. "Let me know if you need anything...."

There was no answer. Paul gave a sigh, shaking his head, then banged his head on the closet wall in frustration. "Damn it, Paul!" he hissed.

He threw his slippers up in the air in exasperation and shut the closet light off. I should have never fucking said anything..." he muttered to himself.