Royal Namekian Blues

Chapter 20 Country Club Shenanigans

By Trynia Merin a.k.a. StarbearerTM a.k.a. Polymer

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball Z. Akira Toriyama does, as does Toei Animation Company and Funimation. I only own Shasta Seltzer and some other non cannon concepts. The rest I don't own sadly, and get no money for writing this. Only the wages from everyone's supportive reviews and constructive criticisms. Both are welcome, BTW! Please review!

At the country club, white clothes draped the circular tables set at intervals on the glossy ballroom floor. A small brass band played jazz music, while the Z fighters and dates milled slowly in. Piccolo wandered in, mumbling at the ensemble, but settled for the water a waiter handed him automatically. He sat down at the table next to where Dende had already seated himself.

Krillin wandered in, arm in arm with his girlfriend Marron. Shortly behind them, another couple giggled and nudged one another. "Oh this is really posh," Marron glanced over her shoulder at her cousin.

"You aren't kidding, WOW!" Shasta giggled, squeezing Yamcha's arm tightly.

"Bulma's loaded, what can I say? And I still get the benefit of living on Capsule Corps property," said Yamcha with a lazy grin. He wore a white tuxedo with red cummerbund, while Shasta wore a silver lame dress. Krillin had a cream colored suit and matching hat, coordinating with Marron's pale pink dress. Fortunately for the sake of this event, Shasta had convinced Marron to reconcile with Krillin.

"Right this way, sirs and madams. You’re with Master Roshi, aren't you?"

"That'd be us," Krillin said.

"Right this way. He’s already here," said the matre d. "Good to see you again, Yamcha.”

"Hey, no problem. Take it easy, and thanks," Yamcha said, passing the man a ten-zenni tip. "Could you get us some drinks to start out with some Capsule Champagne and four glasses?"

"Oho Yamcha, that's so romantic," Shasta cooed.

"Krillin, you must introduce us to your friends," said Marron. The two couples strode up to the table where Master Roshi already sat by Lunch and Tien, and Chaotzu. They were talking quickly, clinking glasses while Tien looked decidedly uncomfortable in his tuxedo, with Lunch threading her arm through his.

"What are YOU looking at?" Lunch grumbled as she glared at the two women staring at her sitting next to Tien.

"Aren't you supposed to check guns in at the door?" Shasta asked.

"Hey, nobody told ME, so bugger off," Lunch snorted.

"Relax, ladies, we can all get to know each other. Lunch, this is Shasta Seltzer, my girlfriend, and you know Marron."

"Lunch, please relax, I promised I'd wear the tuxedo, so you could at least calm down?" Tien whispered to his girlfriend. He poured her a glass of champagne, and twined his hand around hers. Raising the glass to her lips, he saw the smile light up her face because of his romantic gesture.

"Nice to meet you," Lunch mumbled politely, though she still glared suspiciously at Shasta.

"Oh, so NICE to see you two tomatoes again, my," Master Roshi peered over his sunglasses at both women. They leaned over each to kiss his baldhead, and giggled, slapping his hands away from their butts.

"C'mon, now, we're spoken for!" Marron groaned.

"You naughty man, you can look though if you're good," Shasta giggled, sitting over next to him despite Yamcha's groan.

"You're so kind to a poor old man in his twilight years," Roshi sighed, as Shasta let him get a good view of her marble white thigh poking out of the slit of her dress.

Over at the refreshment table, Trunks loosened his bow tie, and picked up the two cups of punch. Bunny waved him over, and slid her arm through his as he gave her one of them, keeping the other for himself.

"So, are you going to ask me to dance, young man?" she asked.

"Sure Nana," he said.

"You really ARE Bulma and Vegeta's son?" she asked. “Really?”

"Yes I am," Trunks smiled, blushing to her.

"I thought so! You look SO much like your grandfather when he was a young man. You're too handsome NOT to be Bulma's son," she cooed, pinching his cheek.

"Nana, stop," Trunks blushed as she kissed his cheek and hugged him.

"Welcome to the family! I think it's SILLY to keep such a wonderful thing to ourselves, no matter WHERE you're from, lad," Bunny smiled, escorting him over to sit at the main table with the rest of the family. Already Vegeta sat , tugging at his shirt collar of the tuxedo he wore with one finger, while Bulma elbowed him sharply in the ribs.

"The things I do for you, Bulma," Vegeta cursed, glaring at her, crossing his arms over his silk vest. Bulma leaned over and pinned a blue rose onto his collar as a boutonniere.

"Shh, just relax. This is what royalty wears on our planet!" she said. Trunks sat down on Vegeta's other side, passing a cup of punch to Bulma.

"It's non alcoholic," he said.

"Good boy, because I won't have your mother getting you addicted too early," Vegeta snorted.

"You CAN loosen it a bit, Father," Trunks said, reaching over to adjust Vegeta's tie a bit so it wasn't as constricting.

"Thank you," he mumbled, then picked up the glass of red wine sitting to his elbow. He shuddered and pushed it away.

"Try this, you'll LOVE it," Bunny said, setting a blueberry daiquiri next to Vegeta's elbow, and picking up the wine for herself.

"Why don't you drink wine?" Bulma asked.

"Freeza drank wine," Vegeta growled, turning pale at the remembrance.

"Don't remind me," Trunks said, grabbing his cup of punch by the handle and taking a swig. Vegeta lifted his daiquiri, slowly playing with the swizzle stick. Bulma noticed he wore white gloves even with the tuxedo, and groaned.

"Honestly, you don't need to be THAT formal," she snorted.

"Once a Prince, always a Prince, right, Father?" Trunks grinned.

"Humph, the more time I spend around this boy the more sense he makes. Scary," Vegeta murmured to Bulma. She giggled, and sipped on the non-alcoholic punch, letting it slide down her throat.

He saw Bulma glancing thoughtfully at Shasta and Yamcha getting up to dance, followed by Tien and Launch. Krillin blushed, offering a bent arm to Marron, who accepted.

"Why don't you invite me to dance, sonny boy?" Bunny asked Trunks, as the band started to play a jazzy two step.

"Whoops!" Trunks laughed, getting pulled to his feet by his grandmother. They spun around the dance floor, whooping and laughing breathlessly.

"Idiotic fools," mumbled Vegeta.

Bulma sighed deeply, rubbing her hand over her stomach. "Does this dress make me look fat or something?" she mumbled.

"Bulma, shut up and accompany me in this dance," Vegeta grumbled, pushing him away from the table. Offering his gloved hand, he stood impatiently by her chair.

"Why Vegeta, you NEVER dance."

"A prince must learn all manner of ridiculous customs," Vegeta snorted, taking Bulma's silk blue gloved hand in his, giving it a squeeze. He slid his other hand at the small of her back, accepting her hand across his shoulders. Remarkably he stayed perfectly in step, not stepping on her toes at any point across the ballroom floor.

"Thank you," Bulma said, resting her head on his shoulder.

"What for?" he asked, glancing at her puzzled.

"Dancing with me, arranging all this, it's like something out of a fairy tale," she said, lifting her head to gaze into his eyes.

"Humph, I'm not a barbarian monster like SOME people think," he sniffed, glancing over his shoulder at the next series of people arriving.

Bulma glanced over to where he indicated. Vegeta spun them around so she faced over his shoulder, dancing in place. Chichi tugged Goku by the arm, whispering at him to stop fidgeting at the plaid vest and powder blue double-breasted suit he wore. Gohan was clad in a matching outfit, tugging off the hat shoved down over his funny hair.

"Be nice! Son-kun's rough around the edges, but I'm dancing with YOU instead of him," Bulma whispered close to Vegeta's ear.

"Humph proves you have some taste after all," Vegeta smirked, watching Goku lead Chichi and their son to the table where Dende and Piccolo already sat. Intertwining her fingers with Vegeta's, Bulma leaned over to kiss him softly on the cheek. He flushed bright red with embarrassment, mumbling under his breath in Saiyan. Sharp teeth nipped her ear, causing Bulma to yelp in retaliation.

"Beauty and the Beast more like," she quipped.

"Who's the beast and who's the beauty?" Vegeta snickered.

"I'm so going to GET you for that, Your Royal Whyness," Bulma threatened, stepping on his toe. Vegeta lifted her up by her hips and playfully spun her around.

"That's no way for the mate of the Saiyan Prince to behave! Honestly, what WILL people think?" Vegeta chided.

Trunks and his grandmother Bunny glided past them, grinning and giving them the thumbs up. Both Bulma and Vegeta exchanged mortified glances, then stood still. Chichi and Goku cautiously spun close to them, questions written all over their faces.

"Um… hi Vegeta… Bulma… long time no see," Goku said with a smile at them.

"Now that's just crazy, of all the people to dance together!" Chichi shook her head. "Are you sure you're quite SANE dancing with him?"

"Don't they make a CUTE couple?" Bunny squealed.

"Hi, been a while," Goku blinked at Trunks. “Good to see you here.”

"Who is this, a friend of yours, Goku?" asked Chichi.

“This is Trunks. From the future, Chichi,” Goku said. “Right?”

“Yes Goku,” nodded Trunks. “Did you get the heart medicine?”

“Yes I did,” Goku nodded. “Gohan told me about me dying in the future. It stinks.”

"This is my son, Trunks," Vegeta said quickly, with a nod of his head.

“I already know,” Goku said with a knowing grin. Vegeta glared at Trunks, who sighed.

“I was going to tell him anyway,” Trunks said. “He knows everything.”

"You have a SON? What kind of a jerk are you with! Who's the mother?" Chichi gasped.

"Bulma's the mother you idiot! I'm not a philistine!" Vegeta glowered at her. Bulma's jaw dropped at his admission. It was Chichi's turn to grow faint, so she and Goku leaned heavily on one another, almost comatose.

"Your… you and Vegeta… have a SON?" gasped Chichi.

“Yes they do! Isn’t it great?” Goku asked.

"But… but… how… you two… how… he's… sixteen…" Chichi inhaled, turning bright pink.

"Um… are you all right, Mrs. Son?" Trunks asked, then looked helplessly at his parents.

"The normal way, of course, what do you think? I didn't find him in the damn stork nest!" Vegeta snorted at them both.

“He’s from the future, that’s how,” Goku said as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Goku’s right, that's how!" Bulma said smugly. "But he's got my brains and good looks, and Vegeta's ego."

"Thanks a lot woman," Vegeta snorted. "He has MY manners and my breeding… unlike SOME people."

"Father, you're embarrassing me!" Trunks groaned.

"You… your son," Chichi blinked then glared angrily at them both. "Look what you did! That's a NASTY joke to play on my poor husband!"

"It's true!" Bulma snorted.

“It is,” Goku said, rubbing his wife’s back.

"But how… when did you two," Chichi stammered. "You're not even married… and Bulma, are you pregnant?"

"Yes you idiot! Are you as stupid as Kakarotto?" Vegeta blurted out.

"How can you just carelessly… you're not even MARRIED!" Chichi exploded.

"I am so!" Bulma said, flashing her ring in front of Chichi's face. Vegeta grumbled, pulling the glove off his left hand to show his own wedding ring. Chichi swallowed hard, relief spreading across her features.

"Thank gods," she sighed, wiping sweat from her brow. "But when… why didn't you TELL me when the wedding was?"

"We got married on Namek, that's why," Bulma explained quickly. "Under Saiyan tradition."

"I don't even want to know what that is," Chichi blinked. "But if it's legal, I guess we'll have to accept it. When are you due?"

"Four months from now," Bulma said, as Vegeta glared at Chichi with annoyance.

"It's a boy, in case you're going to ask, as nosy as you are," Vegeta said quickly, causing Chichi to snap her mouth closed.

"So that means it's a half and half like Gohan. Well, I guess that's not SO bad, but Bulma you really SHOULD have told me! We could have had SUCH a nice ceremony!" Chichi shook her head.

"What do you think THIS is? A Bar mitzvah?" Vegeta spluttered. "This is what they call a reception is it not? And since I'm capitulating to your stupid earth traditions."

"Vegeta?" Bulma blinked.

"Humph, I suppose it's in the open now," Vegeta said, rolling his eyes. "But since you never HAD an earth ceremony, I could at least give you the public declaration of our status, so you won't keep hounding me for the next three years."

"Oh Vegeta,” Bulma said, throwing her arms around his neck and locking her lips to his. Grunting he widened his eyes in mortification. Bunny pressed a hand to her face, while Trunks blushed, and looked away. Chichi promptly fainted, crashing next to Goku on the floor while everyone stopped and stared at the couple necking on the dance floor.

Bulma felt Vegeta stiffen, and he slowly forced his arms to drop down and twine around her waist. Grumbling to himself he closed his eyes, falling into the kiss while Bunny waved to the band to play a slow love song. Off in their own little world, Bulma and Vegeta finished their kiss.

"Oh man," Krillin swallowed hard, then looked up at Marron awkwardly. Tien and Launch exchanged glances, and shrugged.

"Oh what the hell," Launch said, leaning up to kiss Tien. Piccolo shook his head, mumbling something about humans, while Gohan and Dende exchanged glances.

"Grownups," said Dende.

"It'll be okay. But I hope my mom will be all right," Gohan said, getting up to go over and help his father pick up his mother off the floor from a dead faint.

Breathless, Vegeta blinked awkwardly down at his mate. "You're hopeless," he grumbled.

"Shut up and dance with me," she said, rubbing her cheek against his face. Across the dance floor, Yamcha heaved a big sigh, then rested his face on Shasta's shoulder. He muttered, "Damn it."

"Don't worry lover, soon everything will be as it should be," Shasta said, leaning up to kiss his lips. "Very soon. Bulma will regret what she could have had."

"Um honey, what are you talking about?" Yamcha asked, looking at the slightly mischievous smirk across Shasta's lips.

Trunks shivered, eyes widening. He gently shoved Bunny aside, whispering, "Nana, get everyone out of her right now. Something’s about to go TERRIBLY wrong."

"What?"

"Just do it, please!" he hissed. Bunny moved off, rushing to find the Matre D.

Against Bulma's lips, Vegeta tensed. He backed away, slowly picking Bulma up in his arms.

"What'?" she asked.

"Shut up. We're getting out of here, now!" Vegeta snorted, levitating off the ballroom floor.

"What the HELL is going on?" Piccolo gasped.

"Don't you feel it! Something's WRONG!" Dende whispered to him. "We've got to get these people OUT of here NOW! "

"Wait, you're right, damn it!" Piccolo growled. He grabbed the fire alarm handle, jerking it hard. A siren split the air, causing the band to jar to a halt. Raising his hand, Trunks hurled a blue blast of energy into the midst of the dancers. People screamed and cried with fear, scattering.

"No, it can't be!" Trunks swallowed hard. "Everyone RUN!"